The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
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Sample Response
The table shows a typical weekday’s sales atof a coffee shop Deletewhich is located in an office building. It is clear that people purchase more coffee and tea from this coffee shopthis restaurant in the morning and evening while they opt for sandwiches at lunchtimeduring the lunchtime. Analysing the coffee shop’s sales report reveals that people purchase 265 cups of coffee and 110 cups of tea in the early morning and 200 cups of coffee and 75 cups of tea in the evening from this coffee shop. Between 10:30 and 2:30In the noontime, the number of sandwich sales is four timesquadruples than that in the early morning. The sales of this item in the evening areis also far higher than those from 2:30 to 5:30 p.m.than of the 2.30 to 5.30 pm. Tea sales areTea sale is highest in the morning, 110 cups, while the coffee sales are highcoffee sale is high both in the morning and in the evening. Pastries are sold more at breakfast timein the breakfast time amounting to 275amounting 275 which is more than three timesmore than thrice than the sales in the evening. Finally, people purchase 50 pieces of sandwiches in the early morning and the highest sales could be observed later in the morning till the lunchtime. The sale of sandwiches drops in the later parts of the day.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response selects useful comparisons and accurately reports the main sales peaks, including the strong morning trade and lunchtime maximum for sandwiches. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire report forms one paragraph, while recurrent comparative and agreement errors make several sentences awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the overview and details into separate paragraphs and express numerical comparisons with standard forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several accurate figures identify the principal sales patterns, although the pastry pattern could be highlighted more systematically.
Compare all four products across the time slots and include pastries explicitly among the overview's main features.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of observations is generally understandable, but the single unbroken paragraph and repeated returns to coffee, tea, and sandwiches weaken progression.
Use an introduction and overview followed by two grouped detail paragraphs, for example drinks first and food items second.
Lexical Resource
The response has adequate vocabulary for reporting sales, but phrases such as quadruples than, sold more, and thrice than are imprecise.
Use accurate comparison patterns such as four times as many, more than three times the figure, and sales peaked at.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the data, although agreement, article, and comparative-structure errors occur repeatedly.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and comparison grammar, using sales are and higher than those recorded in another period.