The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The table provides informationan information on customer spending on various items in five countries, namely Ireland, Italy, Spain, Sweden and Turkey, in 2002. The information is divided into three distinctdisticts groups. The first oneFirst one consists of food, drink and tobacco. The second oneSecond one includes clothing and footwear, and the last group is for leisure and educationthe leisure and education.
Overall, people spend money on food, drink and tobacco is the most commoncomon habit in all five countries, while leisure and education had the lowest uptake.
Turkey had the highest percentage, atnearly 32.14%, of people who spend money on food, drink and tobacco. It was followed by Ireland with 28.91% and Spain with 18.80%. Italy and Sweden reported the lowest figures, at 16.36% and 15.77% respectivelyroughly 16.36% and 15.77%.
As for spending on clothing and footwearthose who spend money on clothing, Italy led with exactlynearly 9.00%. Turkey, Spain and Ireland reported similar proportionsproportion, approximately 6.5% onin average. Sweden reported the lowest figure of 5.40%.
Turning to leisure and education, Turkey reportedreprted the highest percentage of 4.35%, which was closely followed by SwedenSweeden and Italy, with 3.22% and 3.20% respectivelyItaly with 3.22% and 3.20%, whereas Ireland and Spain recorded 2.21% and 1.98% respectively.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay logically structures the key features of the data and provides a clear overview highlighting the highest and lowest spending categories. However, recurring grammatical errors in relative clause structures and minor spelling mistakes slightly undermine accuracy. To improve performance, focus on refining complex grammatical phrasing and checking spelling of key terms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately reports main details across all categories and countries.
Avoid using imprecise qualifiers like 'nearly' when reporting exact numbers directly from the visual table.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized by spending category with clear sequencing throughout the text.
Vary connective phrases between paragraphs to create a smoother, more natural flow between data groups.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is mostly accurate and varied, though noticeable spelling errors and awkward phrasing appear occasionally.
Proofread carefully to fix misspellings of key words such as 'disticts', 'comon', and 'reprted'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is used, but grammatical errors repeatedly occur in noun-clause construction.
Practice forming correct relative clauses and prepositional phrases, such as changing 'people spend money' to 'spending money' or 'on average'.