The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.
Sample Response
The given diagram illustratesportrays the various stages involved in the manufacturing of consumer goods and the process of receiving and usingutilization of informationcustomer feedback.
It is clear that manufacturing involves several stagesthe process of manufacturing is complex, and some stages are interconnectedinterconnected to one another. The process of feedback is also linked tointerdependent on various stages of the manufacturing process.
The manufacturing process begins with the supplyaccumulation of raw materials and manufactured componentsother components required for making a product. Subsequently, these inputs are storedthe materials are stored before production is plannedthe production process is planned. Once production has been plannedOnce planning is done, the assembly of the productassembly of raw materials begins, followed by inspection and testing. The product is then packagedpacked, despatched to the market and finally sold.
The feedback process starts with product research, followed by product design. The product design is used for production planning after which new information is collected at the testing stage. After-sales feedback is collected from the customers, which isare used for market research. FindingsObservations from market research are used for further improvements to product designproduct development in product design, advertising and sales promotion.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response clearly traces the main manufacturing sequence and uses a logical structure with appropriately varied language. Its main limitation is that the overview is too general and does not identify the process's central progression or the specific feedback loops shown in the diagram. The highest-priority improvement is to give a more informative overview that distinguishes the material flow from the information flow and summarizes where feedback returns to earlier stages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers the principal production stages and much of the feedback system, but the overview remains vague and some information links are described imprecisely.
Summarize the start-to-finish production chain and identify the main feedback routes to design, planning, and marketing more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure separates the introduction, overview, production sequence, and feedback process, with clear progression throughout.
Make the relationship between the physical production flow and the returning information flow more explicit when moving between the final two paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate for a process description, although phrases such as accumulation of raw materials and interdependent on are awkward.
Use more natural process collocations, such as sourcing raw materials, feeding information back, and linking stages.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex structures is controlled well overall, with only occasional agreement and phrasing errors.
Check pronoun agreement and reference carefully, particularly in clauses such as feedback which are used, where the antecedent is singular.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the typical stages of consumer goods manufacturing, including the process by which information is fed back to earlier stages to enable adjustment.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.