The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Amount spent on consumer goods Spending in Thousand Pound Sterling
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the expenditure on different consumer goods by the people of four European countries; namely Britain, France, Italy and Germany.
At the first glance, British spent more money on consumer products while Germans spent the least.
It is worth noticing that, British spent more than 170 thousand pound sterling for photographic films which is the highest amount spent on any consumer goods. British also spent more than 160 thousand for purchasing Toys and CDs, which is higher than that of by any other nation. For perfumes, tennis racquets and personal stereos, they spent more than other nations as well. On the other hand, French people spent around 165 thousand for purchasing photographic films, which makes it the highest amount they spent on consumer goods. French citizens spent about 158 thousand on toys which is a tie with Italians. For photographic films, toys and CDs, their spending totalled second highest among the given four nations. Finally, they spent less than 150 thousand on remaining consumer goods. Italian citizens spent around 150 thousand on personal stereos, tennis racquets and CDs while they spent about 5 thousand more on photographic films and toys. Finally, Germans spent the fewer amount in all consumer items than any other nation and their average spending was 145 thousand.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix namely punctuation Original: countries; namely Suggested revision: countries, namely Why it matters: Use a comma rather than a semicolon before the identifying list.
- 2. Use fixed expression Original: At the first glance Suggested revision: At first glance Why it matters: The standard expression does not take the article "the".
- 3. Add demonym article Original: British spent more money Suggested revision: The British spent more money Why it matters: The collective demonym "British" requires the definite article here.
- 4. Remove misplaced comma Original: noticing that, Suggested revision: noting that Why it matters: No comma should separate "that" from the clause it introduces.
- 5. Correct film figure Original: British spent more than 170 thousand pound sterling Suggested revision: The British spent £170,000 Why it matters: The chart shows the British figure at £170,000, not above that value.
- 6. Fix relative clause Original: photographic films which is Suggested revision: photographic film, which was Why it matters: Use a comma for the non-defining clause and past tense for the charted figure.
- 7. Use singular after any Original: goods Suggested revision: good Why it matters: The countable noun should be singular after "any" in this comparison.
- 8. Add definite article Original: British also Suggested revision: The British also Why it matters: The collective nationality term needs "the" when used as a noun.
- 9. Use spending preposition Original: more than 160 thousand for purchasing Suggested revision: more than £160,000 on Why it matters: Money is spent "on" goods, and the currency amount should be expressed clearly.
- 10. Use lower case Original: Toys Suggested revision: toys Why it matters: A common product category does not need a capital letter mid-sentence.
- 11. Repair comparison phrase Original: of Suggested revision: spent Why it matters: The original phrase combines two incompatible comparison structures.
- 12. Express spending naturally Original: around 165 thousand for purchasing Suggested revision: about £165,000 on Why it matters: Use the currency symbol and the preposition "on" with expenditure.
Suggested Rewrites
- countries; namely countries, namely
- At the first glance At first glance
- British spent more money The British spent more money
- noticing that, noting that
- British spent more than 170 thousand pound sterling The British spent £170,000
- photographic films which is photographic film, which was
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response clearly identifies the broad national pattern and supports it with a useful range of figures, while maintaining generally logical progression and adequate vocabulary. However, several comparisons are inaccurate or overgeneralised, especially the claims about France’s ranking, the German figures, and universal national leads; the priority is to verify each comparison against the chart and report ties and exceptions precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and several relevant figures address the task, but inaccurate rankings, overstated leads, and the incorrect German average weaken precision.
Check every national comparison against the bars and explicitly report ties, such as Britain and Italy for tennis racquets, instead of making universal claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses from an overview to country-based details and uses linking expressions effectively, although the single long detail paragraph is somewhat dense.
Divide the details into two comparison-focused paragraphs, such as higher-spending countries and lower-spending countries, to make the relationships easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for describing expenditure and comparison, but awkward collocations such as “spent the fewer amount” and “totalled second highest” reduce precision.
Use standard comparative phrases such as “spent the least,” “recorded the second-highest figure,” and “expenditure on” consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys meaning clearly, though recurring article, agreement, punctuation, and comparative-form errors limit control.
Proofread nationality nouns, subject-verb agreement, and comparative structures, particularly forms such as “the British spent” and “a lower amount.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Amount spent on consumer goods Spending in Thousand Pound Sterling
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.