The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The table gives information about the proportion of consumer spending on three types of goods and services across five countriesby five nations in the year 2002.
Overall, it can be seen thatit is obvious that the percentages of spending on food, drinks, and tobacco in each countryon FDT in each country were the largest compared with the other two itemsother two items , while leisure and education accounted forwhile LE had the lowest proportionsfigures.
In 2002, 32.14% of total consumer expendituretotal national spending in Turkey was allocated to food, drinks, and tobacco,was on FDT, closely followed by the figure for Ireland, at 28.91%at nearly 29%. The largest figure of LE was also observed in Turkey, at 4.35%, while Italy spent the largest percentage of its budgetpercentage of budget on clothing and footwear (9.00%)on CF(9%), higher than the other four nations.
The lowest proportions of consumer expenditure on food, drinks, and tobacco and on clothing and footwearon FDT and CF were both in Sweden, with 15.77% and 5.404%. Spain had slightly higher figures in these two categories, but the lowest percentage on leisure and educationlowest percentage in LE, at only 1.98%.at only 1.98%
Why this response received Band 6.5
The summary accurately highlights key trends and statistics from the table while maintaining a clear and logical structure throughout. However, the response falls slightly below the expected word count and relies heavily on unexplained abbreviations for the spending categories. To improve, write out category names fully before abbreviating them and expand slightly on key comparisons to satisfy length requirements.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key features and data points are selected accurately with a clear overview, though coverage is slightly brief.
Expand detail on secondary comparisons across all five nations to ensure the response fully satisfies the expected word count.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into distinct paragraphs with clear overall progression.
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to link comparisons smoothly between paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally adequate, but relies heavily on unexplained initialisms such as FDT, LE, and CF.
Spell out full category names upon first mention before introducing any abbreviated forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex structures is used with strong grammatical control and only minor punctuation errors.
Ensure proper spacing and comma usage when attaching numerical data to main clauses.