The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.
Sample Response
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of people living in Australia with different nationalities, while the table indicates the distribution of these people in cities and rural areas.
Overall, it can be seen that the majority of Australia’s population was born in this country. In addition, most of people in Australia live in urban areas.
As can be seen from the pie chart, Australia accounted for the greatest percentage of 73%, which is about 7 times higher than that of the UK. It is noticeable that the people who were born in New Zealand, China and Netherlands merely made up small proportions, with 1%, 2% and 3% respectively. Besides, nearly one-fourth of Australia’s population come from other countries.
Moving on, UK and Netherlands share the same percentage of people living in rural areas, with about 10%, which is double that of New Zealand. Surprisingly, while the figure for Australian living in cities is only 83%, that of Chinese constitute exactly 99%.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe country of birth Original: with different nationalities Suggested revision: who were born in different countries Why it matters: The visual classifies people by birthplace rather than nationality.
- 2. Remove unnecessary preposition Original: most of people Suggested revision: most people Why it matters: Most directly modifies a plural noun when no determiner follows.
- 3. Name the measured group Original: Australia accounted for Suggested revision: People born in Australia accounted for Why it matters: The percentage refers to residents born in Australia, not to the country itself.
- 4. Correct the comparison Original: about 7 times higher than that of the UK Suggested revision: about ten times as large as the UK figure Why it matters: The chart shows 73% for Australia and 7% for the UK, making the former roughly ten times the latter.
- 5. Use the correct share Original: nearly one-fourth Suggested revision: 14% Why it matters: The pie chart labels people born in other countries as 14%, well below one quarter.
- 6. Add country articles Original: UK and Netherlands Suggested revision: the UK and the Netherlands Why it matters: Both country names conventionally require the definite article in this context.
- 7. Use plural nationality noun Original: Australian Suggested revision: Australians Why it matters: A plural noun is needed to refer to Australian people as a group.
- 8. Fix comparison agreement Original: that of Chinese constitute exactly 99% Suggested revision: the figure for Chinese people is exactly 99% Why it matters: The original comparison has an incorrect noun phrase and subject-verb agreement.
- 9. State the overview directly Original: it can be seen that the majority Suggested revision: the majority Why it matters: Removing the empty viewing phrase makes the overview more direct.
- 10. Name the country Original: this country Suggested revision: Australia Why it matters: The country name is clearer than the vague reference this country.
- 11. Use natural data phrasing Original: the greatest percentage of 73% Suggested revision: the largest share, at 73% Why it matters: This is the standard way to identify the largest category and give its value.
- 12. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: come Suggested revision: comes Why it matters: The singular head noun population requires the verb comes.
Suggested Rewrites
- with different nationalities who were born in different countries
- most of people most people
- Australia accounted for People born in Australia accounted for
- about 7 times higher than that of the UK about ten times as large as the UK figure
- nearly one-fourth 14%
- UK and Netherlands the UK and the Netherlands
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response has a clear overview and an easy-to-follow structure, and it selects figures from both components of the task. Its main weakness is data accuracy and coverage: several birth percentages are assigned to the wrong countries, the 14% Other share is overstated, and the table discussion is selective. Check each label carefully and compare all major urban-rural patterns before polishing language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides an overview and some relevant comparisons, but it swaps the New Zealand and Netherlands percentages, describes 14% as nearly one-fourth, and gives limited table coverage.
Verify every country label and percentage, then summarise the dominant urban pattern with a broader set of accurate comparisons from the table.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a logical movement from overview to pie-chart details and table details make the report easy to follow.
Strengthen cohesion further by linking the two detail sections through meaningful comparisons rather than relying on general transitions such as “Moving on.”
Lexical Resource
A good range of reporting and comparison vocabulary is used, though several choices are imprecise, including “nationalities,” “Australia accounted,” and “Australian living.”
Use precise forms such as “countries of birth,” “Australian-born residents,” and “people born in China” consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, but recurring article, agreement, and noun-form errors reduce accuracy.
Review subject-verb agreement and plural forms in phrases such as “most people,” “the figure for Australians,” and “that for Chinese-born residents.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.