The graph below shows the daily consumption of three spreads per person from 1981 to 2007 in a country.
This response is estimated at Band 7.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the amount of three kinds of spreads (margarine, butter, and low fat and reduced spreads) which were consumed from 1981 to 2007. Units are measured in grams.
Overall, the consumption of margarine and butter decreased over the period given, while for low fat and reduced spreads, it rose. At the start of the period, butter was the most popular spread. Margarine was the most widely consumed in the middle of the period but, by the end, low fat and reduced spreads werewas most popular.
With regardregards to the amount of butter used, it began at around 140 grams and then peaked at 160 grams in 19861980 before falling dramatically to about 50SO grams in the last year. Likewise, approximately 90 grams of margarine was eaten in the first year, after which the figure fluctuated slightly and dropped to a low of 40 grams in 2007.
On the other hand, the consumption of low fatfats and reduced spreads only started in 1996 at about 10 grams. This figure, which reached a high of around 85 gramsjust over 80 grams five years later, fell slightly in the final years to approximately 70 grams in 2007.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response provides a clear overview and effectively highlights key trends and comparisons from the line graph across all three categories. A minor date inaccuracy and occasional typographical or subject-verb agreement errors slightly detract from an otherwise well-structured description. To reach higher bands, ensure absolute precision with dates and figures while maintaining consistent grammatical accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends, key data points, and general changes are clearly described with a well-developed overview, though there is a minor error in reporting the peak year for butter.
Double-check all dates and figure alignments against the graph axes before writing to prevent small factual errors like citing 1980 instead of 1986.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized with distinct paragraphing and appropriate linking expressions throughout the description.
Maintain this effective structure while using a wider variety of transitional phrases to connect contrastive details even more naturally.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary and trend descriptors is used flexibly and precisely.
Proofread carefully to prevent typographical slips such as typing letters instead of numbers when citing data values.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are used accurately for the most part, though minor subject-verb agreement and typing errors occur.
Ensure consistent subject-verb agreement when referring to plural noun phrases such as low-fat and reduced spreads.