The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares seven countries regarding the yearly payment for doctors and other jobs in the year 2004.
It is clear that doctors generally made more money than other types of work in each country during the research period. Also, the average incomes of American doctors and other workers were the highest among the seven nations.
The US doctors earned the largest amount of money compared to those in the other six countries, receiving nearly $120,000, while the figures for Switzerland and France were significantly lower, at close to 70,000 each. In contrast, there was only about $50,000 earned by doctors in Finland, as opposed to doctors in the other countries, who received around $61,000 each.
Regarding the average salaries of other workers, the amount of money earned by other workers in the US, at approximately $45,000 and in Switzerland, at exactly $40,000 was higher than in any of the other nations. Roughly $30,000 was given to French other workers, about $5,000 higher than that of Finnish counterparts. By contrast, the figures for the remaining countries were lowest, at exactly $20,000 each.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use salary term Original: yearly payment Suggested revision: annual pay Why it matters: 'Annual pay' accurately describes the salary measure shown in the chart.
- 2. Name the people Original: jobs Suggested revision: workers Why it matters: The chart compares doctors with workers, rather than with jobs.
- 3. Use concise date Original: in the year 2004 Suggested revision: in 2004 Why it matters: The shorter time expression is clearer and fully precise.
- 4. Compare worker groups Original: other types of work Suggested revision: other workers Why it matters: Income belongs to workers, so this phrase should refer to people rather than types of work.
- 5. Use exact year Original: during the research period Suggested revision: in 2004 Why it matters: The chart reports a single year, not a research period spanning several years.
- 6. Correct country phrase Original: The US doctors Suggested revision: Doctors in the US Why it matters: This is the natural construction for identifying doctors by country.
- 7. Add currency symbol Original: close to 70,000 each Suggested revision: close to $70,000 each Why it matters: The currency symbol is needed to keep these values consistent with the other salary figures.
- 8. Use natural word order Original: French other workers Suggested revision: other workers in France Why it matters: This word order clearly identifies the worker category and country.
- 9. Compare the measure Original: compares seven countries regarding the Suggested revision: compares the Why it matters: The chart directly compares annual pay rather than the countries themselves.
- 10. Use precise salary phrase Original: doctors generally made more money Suggested revision: doctors generally earned higher salaries Why it matters: This phrasing states the pay comparison in more precise academic language.
- 11. Match chart measure Original: incomes Suggested revision: pay Why it matters: 'Pay' matches the specific measure in the chart more closely than the broader term 'incomes'.
- 12. Clarify both groups Original: American doctors and other workers Suggested revision: doctors and other workers in the US Why it matters: This structure makes it clear that both worker categories belong to the US.
Suggested Rewrites
- yearly payment annual pay
- jobs workers
- in the year 2004 in 2004
- other types of work other workers
- during the research period in 2004
- The US doctors Doctors in the US
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and selects nearly all the key comparisons, with figures that closely match the chart and a logical country-by-country structure. The main limitation is occasional awkward phrasing, particularly when referring to other workers, plus some dense sentence construction. Refine collocations and split or punctuate longer comparisons more carefully to make an already accurate report more natural and precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies both dominant features, and the detailed figures and country groupings are comprehensive and largely accurate.
Distinguish the close values for France, Switzerland, Germany, the Czech Republic, and Italy a little more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organised into an overview and separate doctor and other-worker comparisons, with clear progression throughout.
Reduce the density of the final paragraph by separating its two main comparison groups more cleanly.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of salary and comparison vocabulary, despite occasional awkward choices such as French other workers and money was given.
Prefer precise occupational collocations such as other workers in France and earned an annual salary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is handled with generally strong control, though a few long sentences have awkward coordination or punctuation.
Check agreement and punctuation when one sentence combines figures for several countries.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.