The table below shows the percentage use of four different fuel types to generate electricity in five Asian countries in 2005.
Sample Response
The table shows different sources of fuel for producing electricity and their percentage use in five Asian countries in 2005. Generally, the five countries showed a significant difference in their patterns of consumption. Taking nuclear fuel first, Japan had the highest percentage at 49%, with South Korea second at 33%. In marked contrast, Thailand used no nuclear power at all. Turning to Coal and Lignite, Malaysia and Singapore used this to generate a large proportion of their electricity (61% and 42% respectively), a much higher percentage than the remaining countries. Regarding Petroleum products, Thailand produced 36% of its electricity from this source. In comparison, the other countries only generated 3% or less of their electricity from this fuel. However, Hydro and Wind reveal another pattern with South Korea producing almost half of its electricity (48%) this way (over twice as high as Thailand which had the second highest percentage at 19%). Finally, a significant amount was produced from other sources with three countries (Singapore, Thailand and Japan) generating around 40% of their electricity from other fuels. Overall, it can be seen that there was a significant variation in which fuels countries used to generate their electricity.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: different sources of fuel Suggested revision: different fuel sources Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural noun phrase.
- 2. Use the plural Original: a significant difference Suggested revision: significant differences Why it matters: The sentence refers to several contrasting national patterns.
- 3. Name the measured concept Original: patterns of consumption Suggested revision: electricity-generation mixes Why it matters: The table compares fuels used for generation rather than general consumption.
- 4. Use a formal transition Original: Taking nuclear fuel first Suggested revision: Turning first to nuclear power Why it matters: This transition introduces the first category more naturally.
- 5. Use lowercase Original: Petroleum Suggested revision: petroleum Why it matters: Petroleum is a common noun and does not require a capital letter here.
- 6. State the share directly Original: a significant amount was produced from other sources Suggested revision: other sources accounted for substantial shares Why it matters: This wording links the category directly to its proportions.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: Turning to Coal and Lignite, Malaysia and Singapore used this to generate a large proportion of their electricity (61% and 42% respectively), a much higher percentage than the remaining countries. Suggested revision: Turning to coal and lignite, Malaysia and Singapore generated 61% and 42% of their electricity from this category, respectively—far higher shares than in the other countries. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the unclear pronoun and matches the plural percentages with plural shares.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: However, Hydro and Wind reveal another pattern with South Korea producing almost half of its electricity (48%) this way (over twice as high as Thailand which had the second highest percentage at 19%). Suggested revision: Hydro and wind show another pattern: South Korea generated 48% of its electricity this way, more than twice Thailand's 19%, the second-highest share. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects capitalization, tense, punctuation, and the comparison structure.
- 9. Make the overview specific Suggested revision: Replace the general variation statement with an overview naming the dominant fuels, such as nuclear in Japan, coal and lignite in Malaysia, and hydro and wind in South Korea. Why it matters: A specific overview should summarize the table's most prominent contrasts rather than merely state that variation exists.
Suggested Rewrites
- different sources of fuel different fuel sources
- a significant difference significant differences
- patterns of consumption electricity-generation mixes
- Taking nuclear fuel first Turning first to nuclear power
- Petroleum petroleum
- a significant amount was produced from other sources other sources accounted for substantial shares
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its accurate, well-selected comparisons across all five fuel categories, supported by precise figures from the table. Its main limitation is an overly general overview, compounded by presenting the entire report as one paragraph. The highest-priority improvement is to state the dominant country-and-fuel patterns explicitly in the overview and group related details into clear body paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately selects the leading values and contrasts for every fuel category, but its overview identifies variation without specifying the main patterns.
Summarize the dominant sources by country, highlighting coal and lignite in Malaysia and Singapore, nuclear power in Japan, and hydro and wind in South Korea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information follows a clear fuel-by-fuel sequence and cohesive markers guide the reader, but the single-paragraph presentation weakens the report's structure.
Separate the overview from two logically grouped detail paragraphs so that related fuel patterns are easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to quantitative comparison, with only minor lapses in capitalization and phrasing.
Refine small stylistic details by keeping category names consistently lower case within sentences and avoiding repeated general terms such as significant.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures with strong control and only occasional minor awkwardness.
Polish long comparative sentences by using cleaner clause boundaries and unambiguous reference words.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the percentage use of four different fuel types to generate electricity in five Asian countries in 2005.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.