The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
Sample Response
The chart illustrates electricity consumption and production in the top ten highest countries in 2014. It is clear from the chart that all countries, with the exception of Germany, produce marginally more than they consume. The two top countries, the United States and particularly China, were strong outliers while the remaining countries had similar numbers and lagged far behind in both production and consumption.
China produced and consumed the most, at 5,398 billion and 5,322 kWh, respectively. The next nearest country in terms of both statistics was the US, where residents consumed 3,866 kilowats an hour and produced slightly more at 4,099.
Russian lead the rest of the nations with 1,057 (in production) and 1,038 kWh (consumption) followed by Japan (936.2 for production and 856.7 kWh for consumption). India and Canada ranked 5th and 6th with India producing 871 kWh and consuming 698.8 while Canada was slightly lower in both (618.9 and 499.9 kWh). In the 7th and 8th spots were France (producing 561.2 kWh and consuming 462.9) and Brazil, which recorded numbers at 530.7 and 455.8 for production and consumption, respectively. In the final two positions were Germany and the Republic of Korea with Germany having higher production that Korea (526.6 to 485.1 kWh) as well as consumption (582.5 kWh compared with 449.5).
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise ranking Original: top ten highest countries Suggested revision: ten leading countries Why it matters: This phrase describes the countries' ranking more naturally and precisely.
- 2. Refine comparison term Original: strong Suggested revision: clear Why it matters: Clear is a more natural modifier for the marked gap between these two countries and the rest.
- 3. Correct the units Original: 5,398 billion and 5,322 kWh Suggested revision: 5,398 and 5,322 billion kWh Why it matters: The chart gives both Chinese figures in billion kWh.
- 4. Use chart unit Original: kilowats an hour Suggested revision: billion kWh Why it matters: The chart measures electricity in billion kWh, and the original unit is misspelled and incorrect.
- 5. Add the full unit Original: produced slightly more at 4,099 Suggested revision: produced slightly more, at 4,099 billion kWh Why it matters: The production figure needs the chart's full unit to be accurate.
- 6. Fix noun and tense Original: Russian lead Suggested revision: Russia led Why it matters: Use the country name and the past-tense verb to describe the 2014 data.
- 7. Correct the scale Original: 1,038 kWh Suggested revision: 1,038 billion kWh Why it matters: Russia's consumption figure is expressed in billion kWh on the chart.
- 8. State production unit Original: 936.2 for production Suggested revision: 936.2 billion kWh for production Why it matters: Japan's production value needs the unit shown in the chart.
- 9. Correct consumption scale Original: 856.7 kWh for consumption Suggested revision: 856.7 billion kWh for consumption Why it matters: Japan's consumption is 856.7 billion kWh, not 856.7 kWh.
- 10. Fix comparative form Original: that Suggested revision: than Why it matters: Than is required to make this comparison.
- 11. Use precise ranking Original: The next nearest country Suggested revision: The next-highest country Why it matters: This wording describes the United States' position in the ranking more precisely.
- 12. Refine rank wording Original: In the 7th and 8th spots Suggested revision: In seventh and eighth place Why it matters: This is a more natural way to describe positions in a ranking.
Suggested Rewrites
- top ten highest countries ten leading countries
- strong clear
- 5,398 billion and 5,322 kWh 5,398 and 5,322 billion kWh
- kilowats an hour billion kWh
- produced slightly more at 4,099 produced slightly more, at 4,099 billion kWh
- Russian lead Russia led
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and accurately covers all ten countries, with especially effective comparison of the two dominant producers and consumers against the remaining nations. Its main weakness is imprecise measurement language alongside several localised grammatical slips, so the highest-priority improvement is to state every figure consistently in billion kWh and proofread comparative forms, verb agreement, and spelling.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies China and the United States as outliers, and nearly all figures and country comparisons are accurately selected.
State every value consistently in billion kWh so otherwise accurate data are never presented with misleading units.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overview and leading countries to a clearly ordered account of the remaining rankings.
For an even cleaner presentation, divide the long final paragraph into two balanced groups of countries.
Lexical Resource
A flexible range supports precise comparison, although phrases such as top ten highest countries and kilowatts an hour are awkward or inaccurate.
Use exact chart language such as electricity production, consumption, and billion kWh while avoiding unnecessary substitutes for countries and figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally well controlled, with only local errors such as Russian lead and higher production that Korea.
Proofread past-tense verbs and comparative constructions, especially led rather than lead and than rather than that.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.