The charts below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.
Sample Response
The involvement of various energy sources in the generation of Power in a country between 1985 and 2003 is illustrated in the pie charts. To begin with, the Share of oil remained the highest during the period, as it was 52% in 1985 and reduced to 39% by 2003. Further, Power produced from natural gases contributed merely 13% in 1985 had shared around a quarter by 2003. A similar trend was also observed in coal energy, with an increment of 5% in the period of 18 years.
In contrast to this, In 2003, 17% share of total Power was of nuclear energy which was accounted for 22% in 1985.
It is evident from the charts that there was no change had been occurred in the Power from hydrogen energy during the span of period. Although, an only slight increase was seen in the other renewable energy sources in around two decades, by 3%.
Overall, over time, a positive pattern was noticed in the case of oil, natural gas, coal and other renewable energy sources of Power and a negative pattern in the case of nuclear Power while no change has happened in hydrogen energy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the measure Original: involvement Suggested revision: proportions Why it matters: The charts show percentage proportions rather than the involvement of energy sources.
- 2. Name chart years Original: between Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The visual presents two snapshots rather than continuous data between the years.
- 3. Lowercase common noun Original: Power Suggested revision: power Why it matters: ‘Power’ is a common noun here and should not be capitalized.
- 4. Fix capitalization Original: Share Suggested revision: share Why it matters: ‘Share’ should not be capitalized in the middle of the sentence.
- 5. Use intransitive verb Original: reduced Suggested revision: fell Why it matters: ‘Fell to’ naturally describes a proportion that became smaller without naming an agent.
- 6. Use source label Original: coal energy Suggested revision: coal Why it matters: The chart labels the category simply as ‘coal’.
- 7. Report percentage points Original: an increment of 5% Suggested revision: an increase of five percentage points Why it matters: A change from 8% to 13% is five percentage points, and ‘increase’ is the natural noun here.
- 8. Use concise modifier Original: the period of 18 years Suggested revision: the 18-year period Why it matters: The hyphenated compound modifier produces a clearer noun phrase.
- 9. Remove double verb Original: there was no change had been occurred Suggested revision: no change occurred Why it matters: The original combines two incompatible passive-style verb constructions.
- 10. Name the proportion Original: Power from hydrogen energy Suggested revision: share of hydrogen-generated power Why it matters: The revision accurately identifies the percentage category shown in the charts.
- 11. Fix time phrase Original: during the span of period Suggested revision: over the period Why it matters: The original phrase is redundant and unidiomatic.
- 12. Remove repetition Original: Overall, over time Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Both expressions serve the same summarizing function here.
Suggested Rewrites
- involvement proportions
- between in
- Power power
- Share share
- reduced fell
- coal energy coal
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response reports nearly all categories with accurate figures and clearly recognises oil as the largest source in both years. Its main weakness is the final overview's incorrect claim that oil followed a positive pattern, compounded by frequent grammatical and collocational errors; the priority is to state the overall trends accurately and express comparisons in clean, complete sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most figures and changes are accurately reported, but the overview incorrectly groups declining oil with the increasing sources.
State that oil and nuclear power fell, natural gas, coal, and other renewables rose, and hydrogen remained unchanged.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically ordered and generally easy to follow, though paragraphing and connectors are sometimes mechanical or unsuitable.
Place the overview after the introduction and group rising, falling, and stable sources into balanced comparison paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing proportions and trends, but awkward collocations and unnecessary capitalisation reduce precision.
Prefer natural phrases such as accounted for, increased by, and electricity generation, while keeping common nouns lowercase.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains mostly clear, but errors in verb forms, clause structure, articles, and sentence fragments occur frequently.
Revise each comparison for a complete subject-verb structure and avoid combining passive forms with unnecessary perfect auxiliaries.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the percentage of the energy generate from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.