The two graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s. Sources of Energy, USA, in the 1980s and 1990s.
Sample Response
The pie chart depicts the use of different sources of energy in the USA in two decades – 1980s and 1990s. An overview of the diagram shows that the major source of energy in the USA was oil in both decades, and the use of nuclear power as a source of energy doubled in just ten years.
The graphs show that oil was the main energy source for the USA which was used to produce 42% energy in the 1980s and 33% in 1990s. It shows that oil produced energy declined in 1990. Around one-fourth of energy in the USA came from natural gas both in these decades. The use of nuclear power as a source of energy increases and it produced 10% energy in the 1990s which was double than the percentage of energy production from this source in the previous decade. The production of energy from coal in the 1980s was around 22% and it increases by 5% in 1990s. It is very surprising to notice that the production of energy from hydroelectric power remained the same (i.e. 5%) in both decades.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Plural charts Original: depicts the use of different sources of energy Suggested revision: depict the proportions of different energy sources Why it matters: There are two pie charts, and they show proportions.
- 2. Specific years Original: in two decades – 1980s and 1990s Suggested revision: in 1980 and 1990 Why it matters: The labels are specific years, not whole decades.
- 3. Missing preposition Original: 42% energy Suggested revision: 42% of energy Why it matters: Use of after percentages with a noun.
- 4. Data wording Original: It shows that oil produced energy declined in 1990 Suggested revision: This shows that oil's share of energy declined by 1990 Why it matters: Oil did not produce energy; it accounted for a share of total energy.
- 5. Natural phrase Original: Around one-fourth of energy Suggested revision: Around one quarter of energy Why it matters: One quarter is the more standard formal expression.
- 6. Word order Original: both in these decades Suggested revision: in both years Why it matters: This is more accurate and natural.
- 7. Tense consistency Original: The use of nuclear power as a source of energy increases Suggested revision: The use of nuclear power as a source of energy increased Why it matters: Use past tense for the historical comparison.
- 8. Percentage phrase Original: 10% energy Suggested revision: 10% of energy Why it matters: The noun phrase needs of.
- 9. Comparison form Original: double than the percentage Suggested revision: double the percentage Why it matters: Double is not followed by than in this structure.
- 10. Past tense Original: it increases by 5% in 1990s Suggested revision: it increased by five percentage points in 1990 Why it matters: Use past tense and specify percentage points for a change from 22% to 27%.
- 11. Neutral tone Original: very surprising to notice Suggested revision: notable Why it matters: Task 1 reports should avoid subjective reactions.
- 12. Formal data style Original: i.e. 5% Suggested revision: at 5% Why it matters: This is cleaner in a chart description.
Suggested Rewrites
- depicts the use of different sources of energy depict the proportions of different energy sources
- in two decades – 1980s and 1990s in 1980 and 1990
- 42% energy 42% of energy
- It shows that oil produced energy declined in 1990 This shows that oil's share of energy declined by 1990
- Around one-fourth of energy Around one quarter of energy
- both in these decades in both years
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The report identifies the main patterns accurately: oil remained the largest source, nuclear power doubled, coal increased, and hydroelectric power stayed unchanged. Some wording is imprecise, especially saying oil produced energy declined rather than the share of oil decreased.
Describe the data as proportions of energy sources, and compare each source's share between 1980 and 1990.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overview followed by details and generally logical comparisons. Some ideas are repeated and the final sentence is more evaluative than necessary.
Group declining sources, rising sources, and unchanged sources to make the comparison tighter.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for pie-chart comparison, but there are awkward phrases such as produce 42% energy and double than. The phrase very surprising is too subjective for Task 1.
Use neutral chart language: accounted for, share, proportion, fell by, rose by, remained unchanged.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is clear, but there are regular errors with articles, tense consistency, comparatives, and noun phrases.
Use past tense consistently for 1980 and 1990 data, and check comparative forms such as double the figure.