The table below shows the number of students living in the UK gaining English language teacher training qualifications in 2007/8 and 2008/9, and the proportion of male qualifiers.
Sample Response
This report summarises information on the total number of students in the United Kingdom who gained qualifications for English Language Teachers in two academic years, 2007/8 and 2008/9, with specific focus on the number of male qualifiers.
In both years, the total numbers of students remained the same, but there was a great difference between the numbers of male and female students who qualified. In 2007/8, out of a total of 32,930 students, only 24.7% were male. The percentage of males who qualified in 2008/9 was even lower. Out of a total of 32,945 students, only 22.7% of them were male. This is a drop of 2%.
There was also a large difference in the qualifications that students studied for. Most students qualified with a TEFL certificate; this was true for male students. The number of students who qualified with the TEFL was roughly three times the number who qualified with a Cambridge UCLES CELTA or other degrees, although the total number of students qualifying with the TEFL dropped slightly, from 25,446 in 2007/8 to 24,917 a year later. There was a drop of 0.7% in the number of male students who gained this qualification.
In general it can be seen that the number of males qualifying as English language teachers is vastly outnumbered by females and that the proportion of male qualifiers is gradually dropping.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: with specific focus Suggested revision: with a specific focus Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase requires an article.
- 2. Report the small change Original: total numbers of students remained the same Suggested revision: total number of students remained almost unchanged Why it matters: The total rose slightly from 32,930 to 32,945 rather than staying exactly the same.
- 3. Clarify the denominator Original: percentage of males who qualified in 2008/9 Suggested revision: proportion of qualifiers who were male in 2008/9 Why it matters: The table gives men's share of all qualifiers, not the success rate among male candidates.
- 4. Use percentage points Original: a drop of 2% Suggested revision: a drop of 2 percentage points Why it matters: The change from 24.7% to 22.7% is two percentage points.
- 5. Use accurate wording Original: qualifications that students studied for Suggested revision: types of qualifications that students obtained Why it matters: The table records qualifications obtained rather than courses studied.
- 6. Improve the collocation Original: students who qualified with the TEFL Suggested revision: students who obtained a TEFL certificate Why it matters: This wording names the qualification more naturally and precisely.
- 7. Use percentage points Original: a drop of 0.7% Suggested revision: a drop of 0.7 percentage points Why it matters: The male share among TEFL qualifiers fell from 26.9% to 26.2%, a change measured in percentage points.
- 8. Streamline the noun phrase Original: qualifications for English Language Teachers Suggested revision: English language teaching qualifications Why it matters: This phrasing is more concise and uses standard lower-case terminology.
- 9. State the measured feature Original: number Suggested revision: proportion Why it matters: The task specifically reports the male proportion as well as headcounts.
- 10. Use concise comparison Original: great difference between the numbers Suggested revision: large disparity between the numbers Why it matters: Large disparity expresses the comparison more directly.
- 11. Remove the vague pronoun Original: only 22.7% of them were male Suggested revision: only 22.7% were male Why it matters: The pronoun is unnecessary because the denominator is already stated in the sentence.
- 12. Vary repeated wording Original: There was also a large difference Suggested revision: There was also a clear contrast Why it matters: Clear contrast avoids repeating large difference from the preceding paragraph.
Suggested Rewrites
- with specific focus with a specific focus
- total numbers of students remained the same total number of students remained almost unchanged
- percentage of males who qualified in 2008/9 proportion of qualifiers who were male in 2008/9
- a drop of 2% a drop of 2 percentage points
- qualifications that students studied for types of qualifications that students obtained
- students who qualified with the TEFL students who obtained a TEFL certificate
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear, well-organised account with accurate headline figures and a useful overview of the gender imbalance and declining male proportion. Its main limitation is selective coverage: it says little about changes in the Cambridge UCLES CELTA and other degrees category and slightly overstates the stability of the total. Prioritise a fuller comparison of both qualification groups, including their contrasting changes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate main figures address the task well, although one qualification category is underdeveloped.
Compare the increase in Cambridge UCLES CELTA and other degrees with the slight TEFL decline, using both totals and male proportions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through totals, gender differences, qualification types, and a concluding overview.
Make the final paragraph a concise synthesis rather than repeating a trend already established in the detail.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with appropriate language for proportions, qualification types, and change.
Replace slightly imprecise phrases such as totals being the same with language that reflects their near stability.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence structures is used with strong control and only minor awkwardness.
Refine noun phrases and comparison structures so formulations such as qualifications for English Language Teachers sound fully natural.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows the number of students living in the UK gaining English language teacher training qualifications in 2007/8 and 2008/9, and the proportion of male qualifiers.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.