The chart details the length of different quality water in rivers in England.
Sample Response
The chart illustrates the quality of water rivers in England, namely good, fair and poor, over a period of 10 years.
Overall, it is noticeable that water quality in England has been generally good over the entire period, except 1993.
To commence with, the water quality of rivers in Britain in 1993 was predominantly fair at 12,000km. Also, 9.5000km of rivers were poor in quality, with 12,000km of water sources being a good source. From 1994 to 1998, most of the country’s rivers, around 20,000km, were of good quality, with 10,000km of streams which were fairly clean. Moreover, from 1994 throughout to the rest of the period given, water sources in England whose quality was poor accounted for around 5000km.
Additionally, from 1999-2002, most of the rivers in Britain saw a rise in good water quality to nearly 25,000km before declining to around 20,000km of water sources which were clean in the country. Within the same period, sources of streams in Britain whose cleanliness was fair got around 9,000km with the same figure for quality water rivers in the year 2003.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe the measure Original: water quality in England has been generally good Suggested revision: the length of good-quality rivers was generally the highest Why it matters: The chart measures river length by quality category rather than overall national water quality.
- 2. Use a precise opener Original: To commence with, Suggested revision: At the start of the period, Why it matters: A time-based transition links the paragraph more directly to the data sequence.
- 3. Match scope and measure Original: the water quality of rivers in Britain Suggested revision: the length of rivers by water quality in England Why it matters: The visual concerns river length in England, not water quality across Britain.
- 4. Correct the fair figure Original: predominantly fair at 12,000km Suggested revision: highest for fair-quality water at 12,500 km Why it matters: The fair category is 12,500 km in 1993 and only narrowly exceeds the good category.
- 5. Correct the poor figure Original: 9.5000km Suggested revision: 9,500 km Why it matters: The chart shows 9,500 km of poor-quality rivers in 1993.
- 6. Use the chart category Original: water sources being a good source Suggested revision: rivers being of good quality Why it matters: This wording accurately identifies the good-quality river category without repetition.
- 7. Place quantity correctly Original: most of the country’s rivers, around 20,000km Suggested revision: around 20,000 km of the country’s rivers Why it matters: The quantity should modify the measured length of rivers directly.
- 8. Show the fair range Original: with 10,000km of streams which were fairly clean Suggested revision: while the length of fair-quality rivers ranged from 10,000 to 13,000 km Why it matters: Fair-quality river length varied across 1994–1998 rather than remaining at 10,000 km.
- 9. Fix the time range Original: from 1994 throughout to the rest of the period given Suggested revision: from 1994 to 2003 Why it matters: This is the concise grammatical form for the stated period.
- 10. Correct the poor range Original: accounted for around 5000km Suggested revision: ranged from 2,000 to 4,500 km Why it matters: Poor-quality river length remained below 5,000 km after 1993 and varied within this range.
- 11. Format the date range Original: from 1999-2002 Suggested revision: from 1999 to 2002 Why it matters: Use ‘from ... to ...’ rather than combining ‘from’ with a dash.
- 12. Describe length changes Original: most of the rivers in Britain saw a rise in good water quality Suggested revision: the length of good-quality rivers increased Why it matters: River length, rather than the rivers themselves, is the changing measure in the chart.
Suggested Rewrites
- water quality in England has been generally good the length of good-quality rivers was generally the highest
- To commence with, At the start of the period,
- the water quality of rivers in Britain the length of rivers by water quality in England
- predominantly fair at 12,000km highest for fair-quality water at 12,500 km
- 9.5000km 9,500 km
- water sources being a good source rivers being of good quality
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is clearly structured and identifies good water as the dominant category for most years. Its main weakness is imprecise selection and reporting of the chart, particularly the incomplete overview and the claim that poor-quality water remained around 5,000 km despite substantial variation. Prioritise an overview of the rise in good quality and declines in fair and poor water, then support it with accurate figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main category is identified and several periods are described, but the overview is incomplete and some figures and trends are inaccurate or overgeneralised.
Summarise the overall rise in good-quality river length and the falls in fair and poor categories, then use precise values such as 12.5 thousand km for fair water in 1993.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear introduction-overview-detail structure and broadly groups the data by time, although some linking is mechanical and comparisons are not always sharply developed.
Organise the details around the three quality trends and use direct comparisons instead of relying on sequencing phrases such as 'Additionally' and 'Within the same period'.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary for trends and quantities, but awkward or inaccurate phrases such as 'quality water rivers' and 'fairly clean' reduce precision.
Use stable chart terminology such as 'the length of rivers with good, fair, or poor water quality' and precise change verbs throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main meaning, but recurring problems with noun phrases, clauses, and numerical expression reduce control.
Simplify overloaded sentences and check noun order, agreement, and number formatting, especially in phrases describing river length and water-quality categories.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart details the length of different quality water in rivers in England.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.