The bar chart below shows the average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003.
Sample Response
The bar graph elucidates information on the price of buying clothes per kilometre from Argentina, Brazil, Japan, China, India and Bangladesh.
Overall, it can be asserted that Argentina was paramount in cost for importing clothes into the European Union in both years, while Bangladesh was minuscule in cost per kilometre. Also, China, India and Bangladesh showed an increasing trend, whereas Argentina and Brazil experienced a downward trend.
Essentially, in 1993, china accounted for only 10 pounds in import cost per kilometre to the European Union, which soared prodigiously to almost 17 pounds per kilometre in 2003. Furthermore, India and Bangladesh spent approximately 7 pounds and 3 pounds on imported clothes in 1993, but the cost of imports augmented in 2003 by almost 12 and 6 pounds per kilometre, respectively.
In addition, Brazil was tantamount in both years, which was approximately 24 pounds each. Moreover, Argentina and Japan’s import cost was below 30 pounds and 15 pounds in 1993 respectively, however, in 2003 the import cost dwindled slightly by almost 2 pounds in both countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural reporting verb Original: elucidates information on Suggested revision: shows Why it matters: “Shows” is the natural verb for introducing information in a chart.
- 2. Report the measured value Original: price of buying clothes Suggested revision: average price of clothing Why it matters: The chart gives average import prices rather than the act of buying clothes.
- 3. Use accurate comparison Original: paramount in cost Suggested revision: the most expensive source Why it matters: “Paramount” does not naturally describe the highest price among countries.
- 4. Use clear ranking Original: minuscule in cost per kilometre Suggested revision: the least expensive source Why it matters: This phrase clearly expresses Bangladesh’s lowest position in both years.
- 5. Describe two-point change Original: showed an increasing trend Suggested revision: increased between 1993 and 2003 Why it matters: With only two years shown, a direct comparison is more precise than claiming a trend.
- 6. Include Japan’s decrease Original: Argentina and Brazil experienced a downward trend Suggested revision: Argentina, Brazil and Japan decreased Why it matters: The chart shows that Japan also fell, from £15 to £13.
- 7. Remove empty linker Original: Essentially, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This linker does not express a useful relationship with the preceding overview.
- 8. Capitalize country name Original: china Suggested revision: China Why it matters: Country names require an initial capital letter.
- 9. Use correct price phrasing Original: accounted for only 10 pounds in import cost Suggested revision: had a price of only £10 Why it matters: A country does not “account for” a price; the clothing imported from it has that price.
- 10. Use measured language Original: soared prodigiously Suggested revision: rose markedly Why it matters: The replacement conveys the sizeable increase in a neutral academic register.
- 11. Repair comparison structure Original: Brazil was tantamount in both years, which was Suggested revision: Brazil’s figure was the same in both years at Why it matters: The original adjective and relative clause do not form a grammatical comparison.
- 12. Correct Brazil value Original: approximately 24 pounds each Suggested revision: approximately £23 in each year Why it matters: Both bars for Brazil are at about £23, not £24.
Suggested Rewrites
- elucidates information on shows
- price of buying clothes average price of clothing
- paramount in cost the most expensive source
- minuscule in cost per kilometre the least expensive source
- showed an increasing trend increased between 1993 and 2003
- Argentina and Brazil experienced a downward trend Argentina, Brazil and Japan decreased
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response covers all six countries and highlights the highest and lowest prices, while several individual figures and movements are accurately reported. The main limitation is that the overview wrongly groups Brazil among the countries that declined, contradicting the later statement that its price was unchanged. Prioritise an accurate overview, then use straightforward language to distinguish values that rose to a level from amounts of change.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main extremes and most figures are covered, but the overview incorrectly states that Brazil declined and omits Japan's fall.
Verify every overview trend against the chart and state clearly that Brazil was stable while Argentina and Japan fell.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and country groupings create broadly clear progression despite some mechanical linking and an internal contradiction.
Organise the details consistently by rising, falling, and unchanged countries so the body directly supports the overview.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for describing changes, but several forced choices such as paramount, minuscule, prodigiously, and tantamount are inaccurate or unnatural.
Prefer precise chart language such as highest, lowest, rose to, fell to, and remained stable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but article, punctuation, capitalisation, and clause-construction errors recur.
Review sentence boundaries and comparative constructions, particularly clauses describing whether a value rose to or rose by an amount.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below shows the average prices per kilometre of clothing imported into the European Union from six different countries in 1993 and 2003.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.