The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.
Sample Response
The chart provides information on the expenditure on six consumer goods in Britain, France, Italy, and Germany measured in thousand pounds sterling.
Overall, Britain recorded the highest amount of money used on goods while Germany accounted for the least expenses on the six consumer items.
Britain spent almost ₤175,000 on photographic films, almost ₤170,000 on toys, just above ₤160,000 on CDs, and ₤160,000 on perfumes. Also, Britain used around ₤155,000 each on tennis racquets and personal stereos. France expended their least amounts on perfumes and tennis racquets with around ₤145,000 each and also almost ₤150,000 on personal stereos. They recorded the same amount used for toys and CDs with just above ₤155,000 and recorded their highest expenditure on photographic films with around ₤165,000.
Italy recorded almost the same amount on photographic films and toys with amounts just above ₤155,000 each. Their expenses on CDs, perfumes, and tennis racquets were all around ₤155,000 while they recorded only ₤150,000 on personal stereos. Germany’s expenses were seen to be almost ₤150,000 except for tennis racquet’s expenses which were exactly ₤150,000.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Plural measurement unit Original: in thousand pounds sterling Suggested revision: in thousands of pounds sterling Why it matters: Use the plural unit when the scale represents multiples of one thousand pounds.
- 2. Use concise wording Original: highest amount of money used on goods Suggested revision: highest spending on the goods Why it matters: This phrase states the expenditure comparison more directly and naturally.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: accounted for the least expenses Suggested revision: had the lowest overall spending Why it matters: A country has or records spending; it does not 'account for expenses' in this context.
- 4. Correct film figure Original: almost ₤175,000 Suggested revision: about ₤172,000 Why it matters: Britain's photographic-film bar is around 172 thousand pounds, below 175 thousand.
- 5. Use spending verb Original: used Suggested revision: spent Why it matters: Money is 'spent on' goods rather than 'used on' them in this context.
- 6. Fix verb and pronoun Original: France expended their Suggested revision: France spent its Why it matters: Use the natural spending verb and a singular possessive pronoun for the country.
- 7. Use precise comparison Original: least Suggested revision: smallest Why it matters: 'Smallest amounts' is the natural expression for the two lowest expenditure figures.
- 8. Use value preposition Original: with Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Use 'at' to introduce the level of each expenditure figure.
- 9. Remove redundant linker Original: and also almost ₤150,000 Suggested revision: and almost ₤150,000 Why it matters: 'Also' is redundant after the coordinating conjunction.
- 10. Fix reference and wording Original: They recorded the same amount used Suggested revision: It spent the same amount Why it matters: A singular country reference and the verb 'spent' make the comparison clear.
- 11. Singular country pronoun Original: their Suggested revision: its Why it matters: The singular country name takes the possessive pronoun 'its'.
- 12. Use spending verb Original: recorded Suggested revision: spent Why it matters: 'Spent' is the natural verb for expenditure on specific goods.
Suggested Rewrites
- in thousand pounds sterling in thousands of pounds sterling
- highest amount of money used on goods highest spending on the goods
- accounted for the least expenses had the lowest overall spending
- almost ₤175,000 about ₤172,000
- used spent
- France expended their France spent its
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well organised by country and reports most expenditure figures with reasonable accuracy, making the main patterns easy to follow. Its principal limitation is that the overview overgeneralises Germany as the lowest spender across all goods, while the body relies heavily on item-by-item listing and some awkward collocations. Prioritise sharper cross-country comparisons and more precise expenditure language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies Britain’s dominance and the body accurately covers nearly all values, but Germany is not the lowest spender for every product.
Qualify the overview and add comparisons showing where France or Italy, rather than Germany, records the lowest figure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped by country with clear paragraphing and progression, though the presentation becomes somewhat list-like.
Link selected figures across countries so each paragraph develops comparisons rather than a sequence of separate values.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is adequate for describing spending and approximation, but repetitive and awkward collocations occasionally reduce naturalness.
Use precise alternatives such as ‘spent’, ‘expenditure stood at’, and ‘the lowest figure’ while avoiding repeated ‘recorded’ phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of complex and simple sentences is generally well controlled, with only occasional agreement and possessive-form errors.
Check country pronouns and avoid unnecessary possessives such as ‘tennis racquet’s expenses’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.