The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1998 and 2008.
Sample Response
The charts give information about how people in a European country spent their money on different commodities and services in 1998 and 2008.
In general, the proportions of expenditure on electronic goods and clothing were the highest in both surveyed years. Additionally, most of the given categories saw a decrease in their figures, while the expenses for clothing and electronic goods occupied larger proportions of people’s spending.
In 1998, 16% of people’s budget was spent on electronic goods, which was 4% higher than the percentage spent on clothing. Meanwhile, the amount of money spent on holidays and eating out accounted for 8% and 6% respectively. Only 3% of people’s expenditure was used to purchase newspapers and magazines, and an additional 3% for going to the cinema.
The proportion of money spent on clothing rose by 6% in 2008, while that of electronic goods saw a 4% growth. In contrast, the percentage of expenditure used for taking holidays dropped to 5%, while that of eating out remained unchanged. Notably, people reduced their spending on newspapers and magazines, and going to the cinema, down to 1% for each.
TR: 9.0 CC: 9.0 LR: 8.0 GRA: 8.0
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct category count Original: most of the given categories Suggested revision: half of the categories Why it matters: Three of the six categories decreased, so half is accurate whereas most is not.
- 2. Use expenditure collocation Original: the expenses for clothing and electronic goods Suggested revision: expenditure on clothing and electronic goods Why it matters: Expenditure on is the more precise collocation for category shares in the charts.
- 3. Use percentage points Original: 4% higher Suggested revision: four percentage points higher Why it matters: The difference between 16% and 12% is four percentage points.
- 4. Simplify compound subject Original: the amount of money spent on holidays and eating out Suggested revision: spending on holidays and eating out Why it matters: This concise subject works naturally with the two percentage figures that follow.
- 5. Complete parallel clause Original: an additional 3% for going to the cinema Suggested revision: a further 3% was spent on cinema visits Why it matters: The revision supplies the verb needed to match the preceding clause clearly.
- 6. Use percentage points Original: rose by 6% Suggested revision: rose by six percentage points Why it matters: The change from 12% to 18% is six percentage points.
- 7. Use percentage points Original: saw a 4% growth Suggested revision: rose by four percentage points Why it matters: The change from 16% to 20% is four percentage points.
- 8. Fix parallel structure Original: on newspapers and magazines, and going to the cinema Suggested revision: on newspapers and magazines and on cinema visits Why it matters: Repeating on creates parallel complements for the verb spending.
- 9. Clarify equal figures Original: down to 1% for each Suggested revision: to 1% in each case Why it matters: This phrasing states clearly that both categories reached the same percentage.
- 10. Remove assessor metadata Suggested revision: Remove the final assessor-style line from the response. Why it matters: This standalone metadata is not part of the report and interrupts the response's formal structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- most of the given categories half of the categories
- the expenses for clothing and electronic goods expenditure on clothing and electronic goods
- 4% higher four percentage points higher
- the amount of money spent on holidays and eating out spending on holidays and eating out
- an additional 3% for going to the cinema a further 3% was spent on cinema visits
- rose by 6% rose by six percentage points
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response selects virtually all relevant figures, compares the two years clearly, and follows a highly effective overview-and-details structure. The main limitation is a slightly inaccurate overview claim that most categories decreased when only three of six did, together with the irrelevant self-scoring line at the end. The priority is to make overview generalisations mathematically exact and remove any material that does not describe the charts.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately presents every category and the principal rises and falls, but the claim that most categories decreased overstates a three-out-of-six pattern.
State that half the categories fell, two rose, and one remained unchanged, and omit the unrelated score labels.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised logically into an overview and two year-based detail paragraphs, with clear comparisons and cohesive progression.
Preserve the strong structure while ending with the final chart comparison rather than an unrelated self-assessment line.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to expenditure data, with only occasional slightly awkward collocations.
Use percentage or proportion consistently in constructions such as accounted for, and reserve amount of money for absolute monetary values.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex comparative structures is used accurately, and the few minor lapses do not impede communication.
Polish elliptical comparisons by supplying a complete verb phrase where needed, especially when listing parallel expenditure figures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1998 and 2008.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.