The charts below shows the proportion of income spent on food and other goods across 3 European nations from 1998 to 2008.
Sample Response
Thethe bar charts illustrate the proportion of earnings spent on food and other goods across France, Germany, and Englandacross France,Germany and England between 1998 and 2008. Overall,as time went on,these three countries all witnessedwitnessd a notable rise inon the proportion of income spent on food and other goods,Deletewith France placing greater emphasis on advancing peoples' living quality. SpecificallyAmong them,the proportion of spending in Francethe proportion of France witnessed the most notable growth from 1998 to 2008,wherewhich the figures of food and other goods both rose from 15% and 9% respectively to 40% for both categoriesfrom 15 and 9 to 40. Next,the striking growth of other goods in England followed closely after France,with the increase from 8% to 35%from 9 to 35,more than two times of the growth spending on food.The smallest increaseThe least growth in both food and other goods was in Germany,where the proportion only rose from 25 to 30 and 17% to 24%18 to 23 respectively,theas same as the growth in spendingthe growth of the spending on food in England.
Why this response received Band 6.0
文章成功描述了图表的主要趋势并罗列了关键数据,整体信息传达清晰。主要局限在于总结段落中包含了图表未体现的推测性解释,且存在标点格式混乱和句法连接错误。建议在概述中客观呈现数据特征,并重点加强句式结构的准确性与规范格式。
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
任务完成度
文章涵盖了三个国家的主要趋势和具体数据变化,但概述部分包含了客观图表中无法得出的推测性观点。
避免在学术图表写作中加入个人主观推测,仅保留对宏观趋势和对比特征的客观概括。
连贯与衔接
段落划分结构清晰,但在逗号后常缺少空格,且部分复合句的衔接显得有些机械。
规范标点符号后的空格排版,并使用更自然的关系词来提升段落内部的连贯性。
词汇资源
使用了基本的图表描述词汇,但在介词搭配和固定表达上存在一些不地道之处。
积累并准确运用图表描述中的固定介词搭配,如将 rise on 改为 rise in。
语法多样性与准确性
能够使用多种句式表达数据变化,但存在逗号拼接句子(comma splice)以及拼写和语法结构小错误。
注意从句连接词的正确用法,避免直接用逗号连接两个独立主谓句。
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below shows the proportion of income spent on food and other goods across 3 European nations from 1998 to 2008.
Your response
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