The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
Sample Response
The bar chart and the table illustrate changes of the exports in five distinct industries in one nation between 2015 and 2016.
Overall, it can be seen that export value in most categories witnessed an upward trend over the given period, except for the gems and jewel industry. Additionally, earnings from the exports of petroleum and engineered goods were the highest.
With regards to petroleum products, there was a gradual increase in export value, from just over 60 billion to approximately 63 billion dollars between 2015 and 2016. A similar growth in value was seen in the export of engineered goods, at 8.5%.
Moreover, the remaining categories recorded lower export earnings. The amount of money earned from gems and jewellery decreased significantly by 5.18%, from around 43 billion dollars in 2015 to just above 40 billion in 2016. In contrast, the export earnings of textile products experienced a 15.24% rise to over 30 billion dollars in 2016, while the figure for agricultural products was fairly steady, at around 30 billion dollars.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix preposition Original: changes of the exports Suggested revision: changes in export earnings Why it matters: Changes in is the correct construction, and earnings names the measured value precisely.
- 2. Match chart categories Original: five distinct industries Suggested revision: five export categories Why it matters: The visual classifies products by export category rather than by industry.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: export value in most categories witnessed Suggested revision: export values in most categories showed Why it matters: Values show a trend; witnessed is less natural with a numerical subject.
- 4. Use correct label Original: gems and jewel industry Suggested revision: gems and jewellery category Why it matters: This matches the category label shown in the visual.
- 5. Make wording concise Original: earnings from the exports of Suggested revision: export earnings from Why it matters: The shorter collocation expresses the same meaning more naturally.
- 6. Fix fixed phrase Original: regards Suggested revision: regard Why it matters: The standard formal phrase is with regard to.
- 7. Avoid unsupported trend Original: gradual increase Suggested revision: increase Why it matters: Two annual data points establish an increase but do not show that it was gradual.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: A similar growth in value was seen in the export of engineered goods, at 8.5%. Suggested revision: Export earnings from engineered goods rose more sharply, by 8.5%, from about $57 billion to just over $60 billion. Why it matters: The increase was substantially larger than petroleum's, so similar misstates the comparison.
- 9. Include petroleum percentage Suggested revision: Add the table's 3% increase for petroleum products alongside the values from the bar chart. Why it matters: This would integrate both visual sources consistently for the first leading category.
Suggested Rewrites
- changes of the exports changes in export earnings
- five distinct industries five export categories
- export value in most categories witnessed export values in most categories showed
- gems and jewel industry gems and jewellery category
- earnings from the exports of export earnings from
- regards regard
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is concise, well organised, and supported by accurate figures, with a particularly effective overview of the general rise and the two leading export categories. The main limitation is that engineered goods are reported only through their percentage change, leaving a notable chart comparison underdeveloped. Add their approximate values for both years and make one direct comparison with petroleum exports.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the main trends and the selected data are accurate, but the values for engineered goods are omitted.
State that engineered goods rose from roughly 57 to 62 billion dollars and compare this increase directly with petroleum products.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear paragraphing, logical progression, and generally effective links between the overview and grouped details.
Strengthen the grouping further by discussing the two highest-earning categories together with both their values and percentage changes.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and appropriate for describing export values and changes, with only occasional awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as “changes in exports” and “an increase of 8.5%” for more natural precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex sentences is used accurately, and the few article or preposition slips do not impede communication.
Proofread fixed expressions and noun phrases, particularly “with regard to” and article use before export categories.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.