The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
Sample Response
The given graph and table illustrate the changes in export earnings for a country across several industries from 2015 to 2016 measured in billions of dollars. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that all earnings experienced rises except for gems and jewellery, which experienced a moderate drop. The majority of earnings came from petroleum and engineered goods, while textiles and engineered goods made the largest percentile jumps. The two main exports were petroleum products, which went from just over $61 billion in 2015 to around $63 billion by 2016, and engineered goods ($58 billion to $62 billion). That translates to a 3% rise for petroleum and a more sizeable increase of 8.5% for engineered products. Compared to these two exports, the other products were much lower. Gems and jewellery, the only export to decrease, went down 5.18% from $43 billion to $41 billion. Despite this drop, agricultural goods were lower throughout the period at around $31 and just over $31 billion in 2015 and 2016, respectively. Textiles were the lowest in 2015 at around $26 billion but had pulled approximately level with agriculture by 2016.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the chart precisely Original: The given graph Suggested revision: The bar chart Why it matters: The visual is specifically a bar chart, so this term is more precise.
- 2. Use category terminology Original: across several industries Suggested revision: across five product categories Why it matters: The visual groups exports by product category rather than by industry.
- 3. Use a natural collocation Original: all earnings experienced rises Suggested revision: earnings rose in all categories Why it matters: The verb rise combines more naturally and directly with earnings.
- 4. Use percentage correctly Original: percentile jumps Suggested revision: percentage increases Why it matters: Percentile refers to rank in a distribution, whereas the table reports percentage change.
- 5. Clarify the comparison Original: The two main exports Suggested revision: The two highest-value export categories Why it matters: This wording states precisely why petroleum and engineered goods are being grouped together.
- 6. Use the exact year Original: by Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The figures are annual values, so in is more precise than by.
- 7. Choose concise wording Original: a more sizeable increase Suggested revision: a larger increase Why it matters: Larger expresses the comparison more directly and naturally.
- 8. Name the measured value Original: the other products were much lower Suggested revision: earnings from the remaining categories were much lower Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the comparison concerns export earnings rather than the products themselves.
- 9. Complete percentage coverage Suggested revision: Add the table's exact 15.24% rise for textiles and 0.81% rise for agricultural products to complete the comparison of percentage changes. Why it matters: The response identifies the broad pattern but omits the table's figures for two categories.
Suggested Rewrites
- The given graph The bar chart
- across several industries across five product categories
- all earnings experienced rises earnings rose in all categories
- percentile jumps percentage increases
- The two main exports The two highest-value export categories
- by in
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a focused, accurate response with a clear overview and well-chosen comparisons across both the chart and table. Its main limitation is that the smaller categories receive less quantitative coverage, particularly the percentage changes for agriculture and textiles. For an even fuller report, include those figures while retaining the concise grouping and consistently precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately identifies the main trends and supports them with well-selected values and percentage changes from both visuals.
Add the 0.81% agricultural increase and 15.24% textile rise to make coverage of the smaller categories more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from a clear overview to grouped comparisons of the leading and lower-value exports.
Make the shift from the two leading exports to the remaining categories slightly more explicit through a clearly signposted comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise overall, with effective terms for change and comparison despite the imprecise phrase 'percentile jumps'.
Use 'percentage increases' instead of 'percentile jumps' to maintain exact statistical wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with strong control of punctuation and agreement.
Continue refining sentence rhythm by varying the placement of parenthetical figures in data-heavy sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.