The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Export Earnings (2015 -2016)
Sample Response
The bar graph compares the export earnings of a country in billions of dollars from five different product categories in 2015 and 2016 while the table data outlines the percentage change in export amount in 2016 than that of the previous year.
Overall, petroleum and engineered products were the main export earners for this country both in 2015 and 2016, and the export amount increased in 2016 than the previous year except for gems and jewellery commodities.
In detail, the country earned approximately 220 billion dollars from its export trades in 2015 which increased by around 10 billion dollars next year. In 2015, earnings from petroleum export were over 60 billion dollars, the highest amount, while engineered goods brought in nearly 58 billion, the second-highest. Next year, they made roughly 63 and 62 billion respectively. Jewellery and agricultural products consisted of 70 billion in 2015 while textile goods secured around 27 billion, which was the lowest. In 2016, the country exported just over 30 billion dollar's textiles and agro merchandise each and nearly 40 billion dollar's jewellery.
Moreover, in 2016, the value of jewellery products dropped by nearly 5%. Besides, the price of engineered goods soared by 8.5% while the highest increase was for textile products - over 15%. Finally, the price of petroleum and agricultural merchandise in 2016 increased by 3% and approximately 1% respectively than that of the year before.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix comparison phrase Original: in 2016 than that of the previous year Suggested revision: in 2016 compared with the previous year Why it matters: Compared with correctly introduces the year-to-year comparison.
- 2. Fix comparison phrase Original: increased in 2016 than the previous year Suggested revision: increased in 2016 compared with the previous year Why it matters: An increase is compared with, not than, an earlier period.
- 3. Use plural noun Original: from petroleum export Suggested revision: from petroleum exports Why it matters: Exports should be plural when referring to the product category's trade earnings.
- 4. Name the year Original: next year Suggested revision: In 2016 Why it matters: Naming the year makes the comparison precise and immediately clear.
- 5. Clarify reference Original: they made Suggested revision: these categories earned Why it matters: The original pronoun has no clear human or category referent.
- 6. Use earnings verb Original: consisted of 70 billion Suggested revision: generated about 70 billion dollars combined Why it matters: Product categories generate export earnings rather than consist of a monetary amount.
- 7. Name measured value Original: the price of engineered goods Suggested revision: the export value of engineered goods Why it matters: The table reports changes in export value, not changes in unit prices.
- 8. Name measured values Original: the price of petroleum and agricultural merchandise Suggested revision: the export values of petroleum and agricultural products Why it matters: The percentages describe export values rather than commodity prices.
- 9. Use plural values Original: percentage change in export amount Suggested revision: percentage changes in export values Why it matters: The table gives a separate change for each of several export categories.
- 10. Clarify category meaning Original: main export earners Suggested revision: highest-earning export categories Why it matters: The products are categories that generated the largest earnings, not earners themselves.
- 11. Use concise label Original: except for gems and jewellery commodities Suggested revision: except for gems and jewellery Why it matters: Commodities is unnecessary because the category is already clearly named.
- 12. Use chart terminology Original: the highest amount Suggested revision: the largest figure Why it matters: Figure is a more precise reference to a plotted monetary value.
Suggested Rewrites
- in 2016 than that of the previous year in 2016 compared with the previous year
- increased in 2016 than the previous year increased in 2016 compared with the previous year
- from petroleum export from petroleum exports
- next year In 2016
- they made these categories earned
- consisted of 70 billion generated about 70 billion dollars combined
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response gives a clear overview and covers all five export categories with generally accurate values and percentage changes. Its main weakness is recurrent imprecision in word choice and comparative grammar, including treating export values as prices and using awkward forms such as "increased ... than." Prioritise accurate economic collocations and cleaner comparison structures while retaining the effective selection of key figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the leading exports and sole decline, while the details accurately cover the main values and all reported percentage changes.
Use exact category values more consistently and refer to export values or earnings rather than prices when reporting the table.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced from overview to earnings and then percentage changes, with clear overall progression.
Group each category's value and percentage change more directly to reduce switching between the chart and table.
Lexical Resource
The response shows good range, but several collocations are imprecise, including "export trades," "secured," and "price" for export value.
Use consistent terms such as "export earnings," "accounted for," and "value increased or decreased."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are generally controlled, although errors in comparison forms, agreement, and possessives recur without obscuring meaning.
Correct structures such as "increased compared with 2015" and "just over 30 billion dollars' worth of textiles."
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the value of one country’s exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Export Earnings (2015 -2016)
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.