The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas (1999 & 2004) *Fairtrade: a category of products for which farmers from developing countries have been paid an officially agreed fair price.
Sample Response
The table data provides sales information on coffee and bananas which had Fairtrade labels attached to them and had been sold in five different countries in Europe in 1999 and 2004. The sales price are given in millions of Euros and the fairtrade coffee and bananas indicate that the farmers who produced these products are from developing countries and have been paid a decent price for their production. As a general trend, the UK was the largest market for Fairtrade labelled coffee while Swiss people preferred bananas of this category in 2004. As the table data demonstrates, the market for Fairtrade labelled coffee and bananas witnessed a dramatic increase in 2004 than that of 5 years ago. With regards to coffee sales, the highest amount of sales could be observed in Switzerland in 1999 with exactly 3 million Euro sale volume. The sale in the UK in this year was half of that and the lowest sale was recorded in Sweden with less than 1 million Euro. After 5 years, the sales of coffee in these countries increases with a remarkable improvement in the UK. The sales went up to 20 million Euros in the UK in 2004 with was almost double than the combined sales amount in the remaining four countries. For the banana sales, Switzerland was the largest market in both years. Sales amount in the rest of the countries summed to just over 4 million while it was 15 million alone in Switzerland. The sales upsurged significantly and went up to 47 million while it decreased in Denmark.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural subject Original: The table data provides Suggested revision: The tables provide Why it matters: The visual contains two tables, so the subject and verb should be plural.
- 2. Simplify relative clause Original: which had Fairtrade labels attached to them and had been sold Suggested revision: that were Fairtrade-labelled and sold Why it matters: The revision removes unnecessary past-perfect forms and makes the description more direct.
- 3. Fix agreement and noun Original: The sales price are Suggested revision: The sales figures are Why it matters: The plural verb requires a plural subject, and figures is accurate for the table values.
- 4. Lowercase currency name Original: millions of Euros Suggested revision: millions of euros Why it matters: Currency names are common nouns and are not capitalized in running text.
- 5. Remove copied definition Original: and the fairtrade coffee and bananas indicate that the farmers who produced these products are from developing countries and have been paid a decent price for their production Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This repeats background information from the task instead of describing the table data.
- 6. Avoid unsupported preference Original: Swiss people preferred bananas of this category Suggested revision: Switzerland recorded the highest Fairtrade banana sales Why it matters: The table reports sales values but provides no evidence about people's preferences.
- 7. Qualify the overall trend Original: the market for Fairtrade labelled coffee and bananas witnessed a dramatic increase in 2004 than that of 5 years ago Suggested revision: sales generally rose between 1999 and 2004, although banana sales fell in Sweden and Denmark Why it matters: Coffee rose everywhere, but banana sales did not increase in every country.
- 8. Fix fixed phrase Original: With regards to Suggested revision: With regard to Why it matters: The standard expression is with regard to.
- 9. Use concise data term Original: the highest amount of sales Suggested revision: the highest sales figure Why it matters: Sales figure is the natural expression for a value in a table.
- 10. State data directly Original: could be observed Suggested revision: was recorded Why it matters: Was recorded describes a reported table value more directly.
- 11. Format monetary value Original: 3 million Euro sale volume Suggested revision: €3 million Why it matters: This concise form uses the currency and amount grammatically.
- 12. Use plural sales Original: The sale in the UK Suggested revision: UK sales Why it matters: Sales is the appropriate plural noun for the country's total value.
Suggested Rewrites
- The table data provides The tables provide
- which had Fairtrade labels attached to them and had been sold that were Fairtrade-labelled and sold
- The sales price are The sales figures are
- millions of Euros millions of euros
- and the fairtrade coffee and bananas indicate that the farmers who produced these products are from developing countries and have been paid a decent price for their production Delete
- Swiss people preferred bananas of this category Switzerland recorded the highest Fairtrade banana sales
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in identifying the leading markets and supporting the coffee trends with well-chosen figures. The main limitation is uneven coverage of the banana table, including an inaccurate 1999 subtotal and omission of Sweden's decline, while recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to compare all notable rises and falls accurately, then edit sentence structures and data language for control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate coffee comparisons cover the central trends, but banana coverage omits Sweden's decline and inaccurately totals the other countries in 1999.
Contrast the three banana increases with the declines in both Sweden and Denmark, checking every quoted total against the tables.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical introduction-overview-detail sequence and groups the two products clearly, though the long single-block presentation and some loose references reduce cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for the overview, coffee, and bananas, and ensure pronouns such as 'it' have an unmistakable numerical referent.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of data-reporting vocabulary, but awkward collocations such as 'sales price', 'witnessed an increase than', and 'sales upsurged' recur.
Prefer standard combinations such as 'sales figures', 'rose compared with', and 'sales increased sharply'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but agreement, tense, relative-clause, and comparative errors occur frequently despite generally clear meaning.
Proofread subject-verb agreement and comparison structures, replacing forms such as 'increases', 'with was', and 'double than' with accurate alternatives.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Sales of Fairtrade-labelled coffee and bananas (1999 & 2004) *Fairtrade: a category of products for which farmers from developing countries have been paid an officially agreed fair price.
Your response
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