The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018.

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This response is estimated at Band 8.5. Can you write a better one?

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Sample Response

1

The bar chart compares the proportions of average weeklyweek spending by families on eight different categories in one country in 1968 and 2018.

2

Overall, spending patterns changed considerably over the period. Expenditure on foodMoney used for food accounted for the largest share of household income in 1968, whereas leisure became the biggest spending category in 2018. The proportions spent on food, fuel and power, clothing and footwear, and personal goods declined, while those allocated to housing, transport, and leisure increased, leaving spending on household goods unchangedleaving the household goods unchanged.

3

Spending on food saw the largest decline, with its share falling from 35% in 1968 to approximately 17% in 2018. Likewise, the proportion spent on clothing and footwear halved from 10% to 5%, while spending on personal goods dropped from around 8% to 4%. Fuel and power also experienced a slight drop, from roughly 6% to 4%.

4

By contrast, the weekly income allocated to leisure rose markedly from approximately 9% to 22%, making it the largest category in 2018. Transport and housing also showed significant increasesincrease, from around 89% and 10% to 14% and 19%, respectively. Meanwhile, the proportion spent on household goodsproportion of household goods remained stable at 8% in both 1968 and 2018.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.5

The response provides an excellent summary of the data, featuring a clear overview, well-selected main trends, and precise numerical reporting. Information is organized logically with smooth cohesive transitions between paragraphs and contrasting categories. To refine the response further, minor grammatical slips in noun forms can be eliminated to achieve complete technical precision.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

9.0
Scoring rule

All key features and data points are highlighted accurately, supported by a clear comprehensive overview.

Next step

Maintain this high standard by ensuring data reporting continues to be fully precise across all Task 1 visual types.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

9.0
Scoring rule

The essay is logically structured into well-defined paragraphs with natural paragraph transitions and linking words.

Next step

Continue using topic-based grouping to organize complex comparisons smoothly.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.0
Scoring rule

A wide range of vocabulary is used flexibly and appropriately to describe changes, comparisons, and proportions.

Next step

Vary word choices even further by using sophisticated collocations to describe data trajectories.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

A wide range of grammatical structures is used with full clarity and high accuracy, marred only by minor errors like 'significant increase'.

Next step

Check for correct noun forms when using adjectives like 'significant' with countable or plural nouns.