The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast food in Britain. The graph shows the trends in the consumption of fast foods.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates the money spent on six consumer goods in four European countries such as Britain, France, Italy and Germany.
Overall it can be seen that Britain spent the most amount of money on every consumer goods than the other countries whilst Germany spent the least money on goods among the other countries.
In Britain, above 170 thousand pounds sterling are spent on photographic film as well as toys and CDs on above 165 thousand pounds sterling. In terms of France, tennis racquets, perfumes and personal stereos are the items on which they spent the least money below 145000 pounds altogether.
On the other hand, Italian people spent the most money on toys, perfumes and tennis racquets, up to 155000 pounds whereas Germany spent the least on toys and CDs and spent a small amount on perfumes and tennis racquets, up to 150 pounds, however, Germany considered as the money spent less on all consumer goods among all the other countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the redundant noun Original: the most amount of money Suggested revision: the most money Why it matters: Most already expresses the quantity, so amount is redundant.
- 2. Fix number agreement Original: goods Suggested revision: good Why it matters: Every must be followed by a singular countable noun.
- 3. Complete the comparison Original: than the other countries Suggested revision: compared with the other countries Why it matters: Spent the most requires a comparison phrase rather than than in this structure.
- 4. Use a precise group Original: among the other countries Suggested revision: of the four countries Why it matters: This phrasing identifies the full comparison group more clearly.
- 5. Express the figure naturally Original: above 170 thousand pounds sterling Suggested revision: more than 170,000 pounds sterling Why it matters: More than is the natural phrase for an amount exceeding a stated figure.
- 6. Match tense and agreement Original: are Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The singular amount and completed historical period require was spent.
- 7. Fix the spending phrase Original: CDs on above Suggested revision: CDs at more than Why it matters: At more than correctly introduces an approximate expenditure figure.
- 8. Use a direct transition Original: In terms of France Suggested revision: In France Why it matters: The shorter transition identifies the category directly.
- 9. Clarify the pronoun Original: they Suggested revision: consumers Why it matters: They has no clear human antecedent because France is the preceding noun.
- 10. Clarify each amount Original: below 145000 pounds altogether Suggested revision: less than 145,000 pounds on each item Why it matters: Altogether incorrectly presents the individual item figures as a combined total.
- 11. Use an economic subject Original: Italian people Suggested revision: consumers in Italy Why it matters: Consumers is the more precise term when describing expenditure.
- 12. Format the number Original: up to 155000 pounds Suggested revision: up to 155,000 pounds Why it matters: A comma is needed to group the thousands in this figure.
Suggested Rewrites
- the most amount of money the most money
- goods good
- than the other countries compared with the other countries
- among the other countries of the four countries
- above 170 thousand pounds sterling more than 170,000 pounds sterling
- are was
Why this response received Band 4.5
The response has a recognizable report structure and uses topic-related comparative language, but it describes six consumer goods in four European countries rather than the two fast-food charts provided. This complete mismatch means the visual task is not addressed, while frequent grammatical and collocational problems further weaken clarity. The highest priority is to analyse the attached charts directly, summarizing expenditure by income group and consumption trends from 1970 to 1990.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response is entirely unrelated to the attached fast-food charts and therefore does not address the task or report any relevant features.
Base the report on the supplied visuals, covering spending by income group and changes in hamburger, fish-and-chip, and pizza consumption.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has an evident introduction, overview, and body structure, but progression becomes repetitive and the final sentence is an overloaded run-on.
Organize details into two focused comparison paragraphs and split long sentences so each comparison has a clear purpose.
Lexical Resource
There is some range of comparative and data-reporting vocabulary, but frequent imprecise collocations and inconsistent units limit accuracy.
Use precise expressions for expenditure and comparison, and check that every unit and quantity is stated consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and clause control sometimes make relationships difficult to follow.
Build shorter accurate comparison sentences first, then combine them only when conjunctions and verb forms remain controlled.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast food in Britain. The graph shows the trends in the consumption of fast foods.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.