The table below gives information about favourite pastimes in different countries.
Sample Response
The given table data shows the favourite pastime activities of 30 to 50 years old people’s in eight different countries. As is observed from the provided information, watching Television is the most popular leisure activity of the majority of the people and based on countries, the interests vary to a great deal. According to the given figures, Watching TV is the most popular pastime activity among the 30 to 50 years old people in Canada, Australia and the USA. The people of these three countries who are between 30 to 50 years old spent their 60-65 of past time watching TV. Korean, Japanese and Chinese people of this age group prefer to read books while listening music is most popular among the people of this age group in the USA. Participating in sports is higher in Korea, China, Australia, USA, and Canada than other countries. Interestingly Sleeping and going to the beach are two least preferred activities and English citizens of this age group spend their pastime mostly by reading, sleeping and spending time in their hobbies. No data apart from reading is given for the Japanese people and French people prefer to read than any other activity. Sleeping is least popular in Canada and the USA where only 2% people in this age group spend their leisure time sleeping.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant word Original: table data Suggested revision: table Why it matters: Table already refers to the displayed data.
- 2. Avoid redundant wording Original: pastime activities Suggested revision: pastimes Why it matters: Pastimes already means leisure activities.
- 3. Correct age phrase Original: 30 to 50 years old people’s Suggested revision: people aged 30 to 50 Why it matters: The original phrase has an incorrect age construction and possessive ending.
- 4. Use concise noun Original: pastime activity among Suggested revision: pastime among Why it matters: Pastime already denotes an activity.
- 5. Correct age modifier Original: 30 to 50 years old people in Canada Suggested revision: people aged 30 to 50 in Canada Why it matters: Aged 30 to 50 correctly modifies people.
- 6. Correct the US figure Original: listening music is most popular among the people of this age group in the USA Suggested revision: music accounts for 23% in the USA Why it matters: The table shows television at 60% as the leading US pastime, while music accounts for 23%.
- 7. Use country-based labels Original: Korean, Japanese and Chinese people Suggested revision: People in Korea, Japan and China Why it matters: Country-based wording is clearer and consistent with the table headings.
- 8. Name the country correctly Original: English citizens Suggested revision: people in England Why it matters: The table category is England, so this wording is more accurate.
- 9. Correct verb pattern Original: spend their pastime mostly by reading Suggested revision: spend most of their leisure time reading Why it matters: Spend time is followed by an -ing form without by.
- 10. Use correct preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: People spend time on hobbies, not in them.
- 11. Match plural data Original: is Suggested revision: are Why it matters: In formal academic usage, data takes a plural verb.
- 12. Correct comparison form Original: prefer to read than Suggested revision: prefer reading to Why it matters: Prefer uses the pattern prefer one thing to another.
Suggested Rewrites
- table data table
- pastime activities pastimes
- 30 to 50 years old people’s people aged 30 to 50
- pastime activity among pastime among
- 30 to 50 years old people in Canada people aged 30 to 50 in Canada
- listening music is most popular among the people of this age group in the USA music accounts for 23% in the USA
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its broad coverage of countries and activities, with several correct comparisons such as the leading television figures and low sleeping rates in Canada and the USA. Its main limitation is accuracy: the overview overstates television’s dominance, and some comparisons treat missing entries as lower values or misidentify the USA’s leading activity. Prioritise checking every generalisation against the table and reporting only supported comparisons with clear percentages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response identifies several major patterns and includes relevant figures, but some broad claims are inaccurate or unsupported by missing table entries.
State that television leads in three countries while reading leads in most others, and distinguish unavailable data from zero or lower values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The account moves through activities and countries with generally understandable links, but one long paragraph and shifting comparison bases weaken organisation.
Group the details into countries dominated by television and those dominated by reading, then present exceptions separately.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary, but awkward or inaccurate combinations such as ‘pastime activities’, ‘spent their 60-65 of past time’, and ‘prefer to read than’ recur.
Use precise combinations such as ‘leisure activities’, ‘spent 60–65% of their leisure time’, and ‘preferred reading to other activities’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is attempted, but frequent errors in possession, articles, prepositions, agreement, and age expressions reduce control.
Practise plural age-group forms and review article and preposition choices in comparative sentences.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below gives information about favourite pastimes in different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.