The graphs below show the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in a country in 1996 and 2000.
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Sample Response
The two bar charts compare the proportions of films distributed across four genres with their corresponding cinema ticket sales in a specific nation during 1996 and 2000.illustrate the total percentage of films released and the total percentage of ticket sales in a country in 1996 and 2000.
Overall, romance movies accounted for the least among the four types of filmsfour types films in both 1996 and 2000, whereas comedy recorded the highest percentage of ticket salescinema recorded the highest percentage of tickets sales, followed by drama.
In 1996, drama made up the highest proportion of film releases,In 1996, drama made up the highest in 1996, accounting for nearlyneraly 26%, while the figure in 2000 was approximately 9 percentage points higher9 percantage points lower. However, the percentage of drama ticket sales accounted for around 16% in 1996, which was 4 percentage points lower than the figure for comedy.accounted for around 16%,nearly 4 percantage points less than the figures for comedy.
Although the percentagespercantages of drama, comedy, and fantasy filmsthe drama, comedy and fantasy films released in 1996 were less than those figures in 2000, romance films accounted for an identical proportion of releases in both years, at approximately 6%.the two years accounted for the same share of romance, approximately 6%. Besides, the percentage of ticket sales for romance films accounted forromance cinema tickets only made up about 3% in 2000, approximately 7 percentage points lower than the figure in 1996. Meanwhile, the figure for fantasy ticket sales in 2000However, the figure for fantasy in 2000 was about 5 percentagepersentage points higher than that in 1996.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay presents a structured overview and attempts to summarize key trends from both bar charts, which provides a recognizable report layout. However, significant factual errors in reading the visual data undermine the description, particularly regarding which genres led ticket sales and whether figures increased or decreased. To improve, double-check data trends carefully before writing and focus on eliminating persistent spelling and grammatical errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies some trends but contains major factual inaccurate reporting of data, such as describing an increase as a decrease and misidentifying top categories.
Verify chart labels and key data points carefully to ensure that reported numerical differences and trends accurately reflect the visual information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraph structure is present, but logical progression is hindered by factual errors and occasional awkward transitions between data points.
Group related chart details systematically and use clear linking phrases that logically highlight comparisons rather than contrasting unrelated figures.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers basic reporting needs, but frequent spelling mistakes and repetitive word choices reduce overall clarity.
Review key data-reporting terminology and proofread carefully to correct repeated spelling errors like percentage and nearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence attempts is visible, but grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasings occur regularly throughout the text.
Practice forming comparative clauses correctly and ensure subject-verb-modifier structures are fully accurate before introducing complex sentences.