The line graph shows the cost of watching films. The pie charts show the change in the percentage of market share represented by the three forms.
Sample Response
The line graphs show the information on watching movies to spend money in three different formats from 2005 to 2011 and the pie charts show the information about how customers like to watch movies in three different forms. Overall, people always want to watch movies to spend money on DVDs because it is not that costly and anyone can watch it at home anytime.
A glance at line graphs shows the information on how much movie cost to watch movies from 2005 to 2011. In 2005 the most costly way to watch was going to movie theatres the cost was 9 pounds and through the year to 2011 is always going to increase and ended up to 14 pounds in 2011. While DVD and Legal download are not that expensive, DVD cost started from 6 pounds and went to 8 pounds in 2011 and legally download through the web in 2005 it costs 8 pounds and ended up to 9 pounds in 2011.
The pie chart shows how users watch movies in three different formats. In 2005 people mainly rent a DVD the number was 64%, and only 30% watch movies in the cinema and the rest watch through the web. Meanwhile, in 2011, DVD again won the race with 56%, but this time watching movies online won the race over cinema. (26% was legal to download and 18% at the cinema)
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct reference Original: A glance at line graphs Suggested revision: The line graph Why it matters: This concise subject accurately identifies the single line graph.
- 2. Correct noun phrase Original: how much movie cost to watch movies Suggested revision: the cost of watching films Why it matters: The original phrase has an ungrammatical noun structure.
- 3. Use precise term Original: most costly way to watch Suggested revision: most expensive option Why it matters: This is a more natural way to compare the three viewing formats.
- 4. Repair clause link Original: going to movie theatres the cost was 9 pounds Suggested revision: a cinema ticket, which cost £9, Why it matters: The original joins two clauses without a grammatical link.
- 5. Fix tense and phrasing Original: through the year to 2011 is always going to increase and ended up to Suggested revision: over the period, this figure increased and ended at Why it matters: Past-tense reporting and the preposition at are required for the completed period.
- 6. Use plural past forms Original: DVD and Legal download are Suggested revision: DVDs and legal downloads were Why it matters: The plural categories require plural nouns and a past-tense verb.
- 7. Make comparison explicit Original: not that expensive Suggested revision: less expensive than cinema tickets Why it matters: The revision states the relevant comparison precisely.
- 8. Correct price phrase Original: DVD cost started from Suggested revision: DVD prices started at Why it matters: Prices start at a value rather than start from it in this construction.
- 9. Repair category phrase Original: legally download through the web in 2005 it costs Suggested revision: legal downloads cost Why it matters: The original confuses an adverb and verb with the required plural noun phrase.
- 10. Correct endpoint phrase Original: ended up to 9 pounds Suggested revision: ended at £9 Why it matters: Use ended at to report a final price.
- 11. Refer to both charts Original: chart Suggested revision: charts Why it matters: The visual contains two pie charts, one for each year.
- 12. Use formal comparison Original: DVD again won the race Suggested revision: DVD rentals still held the largest share Why it matters: The revision reports market share accurately without an informal metaphor.
Suggested Rewrites
- A glance at line graphs The line graph
- how much movie cost to watch movies the cost of watching films
- most costly way to watch most expensive option
- going to movie theatres the cost was 9 pounds a cinema ticket, which cost £9,
- through the year to 2011 is always going to increase and ended up to over the period, this figure increased and ended at
- DVD and Legal download are DVDs and legal downloads were
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response reports most endpoint values accurately and separates the cost graph from the market-share charts in a workable structure. Its main limitation is that the overview focuses narrowly on DVD preference and adds an unsupported explanation, while frequent awkward or faulty sentences weaken precision. Prioritise a factual overview of the dominant trends and use shorter, grammatically controlled comparison sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response covers both visuals and gives mostly accurate figures, but the overview omits major cost trends and includes unsupported reasons for DVD use.
Summarise the sharp rise in cinema-ticket prices and the shift from cinema to online viewing without speculating about consumer motives.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is grouped logically by visual, although several long sentences have weak internal progression and punctuation.
Divide overloaded sentences into clear comparisons and use linking words to show contrast rather than repeatedly adding clauses.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to describe changes, but repetition and awkward phrases such as ‘won the race’ reduce precision and formality.
Use accurate chart language such as ‘accounted for,’ ‘rose to,’ ‘remained dominant,’ and ‘overtook’ consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear, but frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, tense, articles, and verb forms limit grammatical control.
Build shorter complex sentences with one main clause and check subject-verb agreement and past-tense forms throughout.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The line graph shows the cost of watching films. The pie charts show the change in the percentage of market share represented by the three forms.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.