The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in millions) of telephone calls in Finland, divided into three categories, from 1995 – 2004.
Sample Response
The bar graph gives information about the people of Finland who spent millions of minutes on calls between the years 1995 to 2004. Overall, it can be seen that throughout the period, the local landline has been the most favourite medium of calling.
As per the information, in 1995, inhabitants used exactly 12000 million minutes on locally available landlines. This number rose steadily up to the year 2000 and reached 17000 million minutes. In the next year, the figure remained approximately the same but after the next three years, the minutes decreased and stood in the same position which was nine years ago.
In the starting year, which is 1995, National and international landline calls were recorded 6000 million minutes and constantly surged up to the year 2004 but still remained above 10000. In the same year, the mobiles calls were recorded below 10000, but the popularity increased from the year 1995 which was approximate O.
At last, though local landline popularity decreased still, it was the most favourite medium of interaction out of 3 given categories.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use past tense Original: has been Suggested revision: was Why it matters: The chart covers a completed historical period, so the past tense is required.
- 2. Avoid double superlative Original: the most favourite medium of calling Suggested revision: the most widely used call category Why it matters: “Most favourite” is redundant, and the chart compares call categories rather than communication media.
- 3. Use natural reference Original: As per the information Suggested revision: According to the chart Why it matters: This is a clearer and more natural way to introduce visual data.
- 4. Describe the category Original: inhabitants used exactly 12000 million minutes on locally available landlines Suggested revision: local landline calls accounted for exactly 12,000 million minutes Why it matters: This wording reports the charted call category directly and formats the value clearly.
- 5. Correct the peak year Original: the year 2000 and reached 17000 million minutes Suggested revision: 2001, when it reached about 17,000 million minutes Why it matters: Local landline calls peak in 2001, not 2000.
- 6. Remove wordiness Original: In the starting year, which is 1995 Suggested revision: In 1995 Why it matters: The shorter time reference is clearer and avoids an unnecessary relative clause.
- 7. Fix capitalization Original: National Suggested revision: national Why it matters: A category name within the sentence does not require an initial capital letter.
- 8. Add value preposition Original: were recorded 6000 million minutes Suggested revision: were recorded at 6,000 million minutes Why it matters: “Recorded” requires “at” before the numerical level in this construction.
- 9. Describe steady growth Original: constantly surged up to the year 2004 Suggested revision: rose steadily until 2004 Why it matters: The bars show a gradual annual rise rather than repeated sharp surges.
- 10. State final value Original: but still remained above 10000 Suggested revision: reaching just over 10,000 million minutes Why it matters: The 2004 value is just above 10,000 million minutes, and this wording completes the trend accurately.
- 11. Clarify the year Original: In the same year Suggested revision: By 2004 Why it matters: The original reference is ambiguous because the preceding sentence mentions both 1995 and 2004.
- 12. Fix noun form Original: the mobiles calls Suggested revision: mobile calls Why it matters: “Mobile” functions as the modifier here and should not be plural.
Suggested Rewrites
- has been was
- the most favourite medium of calling the most widely used call category
- As per the information According to the chart
- inhabitants used exactly 12000 million minutes on locally available landlines local landline calls accounted for exactly 12,000 million minutes
- the year 2000 and reached 17000 million minutes 2001, when it reached about 17,000 million minutes
- In the starting year, which is 1995 In 1995
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies local landline calls as the largest category and broadly describes the three series, so the main message remains understandable. However, the overview omits the contrasting rises in the other categories, several figures are vague or inaccurately timed, and recurring grammatical and collocational errors reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to state all three overall trends clearly, then support them with accurately dated comparisons from the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report addresses all three categories and identifies the dominant series, but the overview is incomplete and some data descriptions are vague or slightly inaccurate.
State that local calls peaked then fell while the other two categories rose, and support each trend with correctly dated figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and chronological sequencing provide a broadly clear progression, though repetition and unclear references weaken cohesion.
Replace the repetitive conclusion with a fuller overview and ensure references such as in the same year point to one unmistakable year.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe trends, but frequent awkward collocations such as medium of calling and stood in the same position reduce precision.
Use standard chart language such as peaked, remained stable, fell back, and call volume to describe the data more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but recurring errors with articles, plurals, prepositions, agreement, and punctuation are noticeable.
Prioritise accurate noun phrases and verb patterns, especially mobile calls, were recorded at, and rose to, before attempting longer clauses.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in millions) of telephone calls in Finland, divided into three categories, from 1995 – 2004.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.