The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The graph provides a visual representation of the consumption of fish and differentsome various kinds of meat, namely lamb, beef and chicken, in a European country from the year 1979 to 2004.
Overall, consumption of chicken reported a constantconstanst rise Deletein number, while fish had the lowest uptake over the 25-year period.
Beef had the highest consumption in 1979, nearly 220 grams per person per week. The figure dropped sharply over a five-year periodfive-years period. Between 1984 and 1994 the consumption increased marginally, from about 170 to 180 gramsrespectively, before falling to its lowest level, at around 110 grams in 2004. Consumption of chicken was at approximately 150 grams in 1979, before rising slowly. In 2004 its consumption reached a peak of nearly 250 grams per personthe peak, nearly 260 grams per person.
The consumption of lamb dropped significantly, from roughly 150 grams in 1979 to nearly 70 grams in 1999, before reporting a slight increasereporting slight increase to around 80 grams in the year 2004. Fish consumptionThe fish remained mostly stable throughout the years. The consumption was at nearly 60 grams in 1979 and dropped to nearly 50 grams in 2004.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively covers all main trends from the line graph, supported by a clear overview and logical paragraphing. However, minor data inaccuracies and grammatical errors—such as missing articles and spelling mistakes—slightly detract from the overall precision. Focus on refining grammatical control and double-checking data points to achieve greater accuracy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and key figures are accurately identified and highlighted, supported by a clear overview.
Ensure all specific date ranges and data points are precise, such as matching period intervals exactly to the visual prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically structured with clear paragraph division and smooth transitions between categories.
Vary cohesive devices slightly more to avoid relying on repetitive sentence starters when comparing categories.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally adequate to describe trends, though occasional spelling errors and awkward phrasing occur.
Proofread carefully to fix spelling mistakes like 'constanst' and avoid redundant expressions such as 'some various'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structure is used, but grammatical errors regarding articles, prepositions, and singular/plural forms are noticeable.
Pay closer attention to article usage before noun phrases and ensure correct hyphenation in compound modifiers like 'a five-year period'.