The graph below shows fish consumption and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates the amount of fish, lamb, beef, and chicken consumed weekly in grams by European citizens from 1979 to 2004. Overall, it is apparent that chicken is the most ingested while fish is eaten less.
In a more detailed analysis, chicken consumption stood at around 150 grams in 1979, then increased steadily and peaked at about 250 grams in 2004.
Turning to the proportion of beef, lamb and fish consumed, the beef and lamb follow a fairly similar pattern. In 1979, they began at over 200 grams and 150 grams respectively, then declined. Next to this, beef consumption hit the trough at nearly 100gram after 25 years, whereas lamb consumption did in 1999, after which it started to rise again. On the contrary, the number of fish eaten started at over 50 grams, then decreased gradually for the next five years afterwards, and remained constant throughout the years.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the scope Original: by European citizens Suggested revision: in a European country Why it matters: The visual refers to one European country rather than European citizens generally.
- 2. Use the measured quantity Original: proportion Suggested revision: amounts Why it matters: The graph measures consumption in grams, so amount is the accurate noun.
- 3. Fix article and tense Original: the beef and lamb follow Suggested revision: beef and lamb followed Why it matters: The food names do not need articles here, and the past tense matches the historical period.
- 4. Report starting values accurately Original: they began at over 200 grams and 150 grams respectively Suggested revision: they began at about 215 grams and 150 grams respectively Why it matters: The graph shows beef at roughly 215 grams and lamb at about 150 grams in 1979.
- 5. Correct the beef figure Original: hit the trough at nearly 100gram Suggested revision: reached a low of about 110 grams Why it matters: Beef finishes at approximately 110 grams, and the unit needs a plural form.
- 6. State the action clearly Original: lamb consumption did Suggested revision: lamb consumption reached its low point Why it matters: The auxiliary did has no clear main verb in this comparison.
- 7. Use a comparison linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By comparison Why it matters: The sentence contrasts trends rather than directly contradicting the preceding statement.
- 8. Use concise graph language Original: illustrates the amount of fish, lamb, beef, and chicken consumed weekly in grams Suggested revision: compares weekly consumption of fish, lamb, beef, and chicken in grams Why it matters: Compares expresses the graph's function more directly and avoids the heavy passive phrase.
- 9. Signal the first category Original: In a more detailed analysis Suggested revision: Looking first at chicken Why it matters: The revised transition identifies the series discussed in the paragraph immediately.
- 10. Correct chicken's start Original: stood at around 150 grams in 1979 Suggested revision: stood at about 140 grams in 1979 Why it matters: The chicken line begins at approximately 140 grams rather than 150 grams.
- 11. Describe the endpoint precisely Original: peaked at about 250 grams in 2004 Suggested revision: reached about 250 grams in 2004 Why it matters: Reached accurately reports the final value without implying a subsequent fall.
- 12. Name the shared trend Original: a fairly similar pattern Suggested revision: overall downward trends Why it matters: Beef and lamb both declined overall, although their detailed movements were not identical.
Suggested Rewrites
- by European citizens in a European country
- proportion amounts
- the beef and lamb follow beef and lamb followed
- they began at over 200 grams and 150 grams respectively they began at about 215 grams and 150 grams respectively
- hit the trough at nearly 100gram reached a low of about 110 grams
- lamb consumption did lamb consumption reached its low point
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is clearly organized and captures the dominant rise in chicken consumption and the broad declines in beef and lamb, with mostly understandable language. Its main limitation is incomplete and occasionally inaccurate selection of visual detail, especially the treatment of fish as constant and the lack of key crossover comparisons. Prioritize a more precise overview and compare when chicken overtakes the other meats, while reporting the full fish trend accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response gives a clear overview and several broadly accurate trends, but it omits important comparisons and inaccurately presents fish consumption as constant after 1984.
Add the major crossover involving chicken and describe fish as declining gradually across the whole period.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in a logical overview-and-details structure, although some linking phrases are mechanical or imprecise.
Group related trends more deliberately and replace awkward transitions with direct comparative links.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing trends, but several choices such as 'most ingested' and 'the number of fish eaten' are imprecise.
Use accurate chart collocations such as 'consumption rose,' 'fell gradually,' and 'grams per person per week.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the trends clearly, despite recurring problems with articles, tense consistency, and comparison clauses.
Check agreement and clause construction, especially in sentences comparing when different categories reached their lowest points.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows fish consumption and different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.