The bar charts below provide information about percentages of students who are proficient in a foreign language in different countries.
Sample Response
The given bar graph depicts the summary of the percentage of students who are good at foreign language in various countries. Overall, the male students lag behind in the skills among their female counterparts in all the countries, and India reveals the highest proficiency both in males and females and China the least in both categories in comparison with other nations. Exception in Thailand, where men are ahead of females in learning the foreign language.
Indian and Romanian female reveals higher ability to master foreign language skills at 68% and 66% respectively. At the same time, Vietnam ranks at 58%, then 42% Russia. China and Thailand females stand at 30% and 28% in mastering the foreign language. The least is observed in Thailand women, lacking in foreign language skills.
Although the male counterpart lags, India still leads at approximate 58%. The rest nationalities are lower than 40 %, except Romania, slightly higher than 40%. Among all the six countries, Chinese males are the least at 18% in mastering the foreign language.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise chart wording Original: the summary of the percentage Suggested revision: the percentages Why it matters: The chart presents percentages rather than a summary of one percentage.
- 2. Use precise proficiency term Original: good at foreign language Suggested revision: proficient in a foreign language Why it matters: This is the standard and grammatically complete way to describe language proficiency.
- 3. Fix agreement and noun Original: female reveals Suggested revision: females show Why it matters: The plural subject requires a plural noun and verb.
- 4. Describe measured proficiency Original: higher ability to master foreign language skills Suggested revision: high levels of foreign-language proficiency Why it matters: The chart measures proficiency rates rather than an ability to learn skills.
- 5. Fix nationality phrasing Original: China and Thailand females Suggested revision: Female students in China and Thailand Why it matters: Country names cannot directly modify people in this structure.
- 6. Correct Thailand value Original: 28% Suggested revision: about 27% Why it matters: The female figure for Thailand is approximately 27% in the chart.
- 7. Name the lowest figure Original: The least is observed in Suggested revision: The lowest figure is for Why it matters: Use language that directly compares the plotted percentage.
- 8. Use nationality adjective Original: Thailand Suggested revision: Thai Why it matters: Thai is the correct adjective for people from Thailand.
- 9. Report the percentage Original: lacking in foreign language skills Suggested revision: at approximately 27% Why it matters: A lower percentage does not mean that all women in the country lack language skills.
- 10. Fix number and comparison Original: the male counterpart lags Suggested revision: male students generally lag behind female students Why it matters: The plural category needs a plural noun and a clear comparison target.
- 11. Correct India male value Original: approximate 58% Suggested revision: about 56% Why it matters: The chart places the male figure for India at approximately 56%.
- 12. Refer to countries Original: The rest nationalities Suggested revision: The remaining countries Why it matters: The comparison concerns national groups shown by country, so this noun phrase is clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- the summary of the percentage the percentages
- good at foreign language proficient in a foreign language
- female reveals females show
- higher ability to master foreign language skills high levels of foreign-language proficiency
- China and Thailand females Female students in China and Thailand
- 28% about 27%
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects the main patterns accurately and supports them with mostly reliable figures, including the gender exception in Thailand. Its main limitation is uneven language control: recurrent agreement, article and sentence-structure errors make several comparisons awkward, even though the meaning remains clear. The highest priority is to express each comparison in a complete, grammatically controlled sentence while preserving the accurate data selection.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies the principal extremes and the Thailand exception, while most reported figures closely match the chart.
Use exact or consistently approximate figures and compare male and female proficiency rates more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from an overview to separate discussion of female and male results, although a few transitions are abrupt.
Integrate the Thailand exception into a complete overview sentence and use smoother links between ranked figures.
Lexical Resource
Relevant vocabulary conveys the subject and comparisons, but awkward collocations and repeated references to mastering a foreign language reduce precision.
Use natural combinations such as foreign-language proficiency, the proportion of students, and was followed by.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of structures communicates the main information, but agreement, article, word-order and sentence-fragment errors recur throughout.
Prioritise complete comparative sentences with accurate plural subjects, verb agreement and noun phrases.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar charts below provide information about percentages of students who are proficient in a foreign language in different countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.