The bar chart and table show information about students from abroad studying in four English-speaking countries in 2004 and 2012.
Sample Response
The bar chart shows the number of foreign students studying in four English-speaking countries in the years 2004 and 2012, while the table shows foreign students as a percentage of total student numbers in the countries. We can see that the overall trend is an increase in both the number and percentage of international students in most countries.
Starting with the number of students, the USA had the most foreign students, rising from approximately 179,000 in 2004 to around 245,000 in 2012. The figures for Australia and the UK were similar, increasing from around 120,000 to almost 200,000. Canada had a significantly lower number of overseas students than the other countries, with about 41,000 in 2004 and approximately 61,000 in 2012.
Next, if we look at the percentage of foreign students, we can see that percentages increased for all countries, with the exception of the USA. The percentage of foreign students was highest in Australia at 24% of total student numbers in 2012. In the USA, the percentage of foreign students remained stable at 2%, which was the lowest percentage of all four countries.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise dates Original: in the years 2004 and 2012 Suggested revision: in 2004 and 2012 Why it matters: The shorter time expression is more natural and equally precise.
- 2. Clarify denominator Original: in the countries Suggested revision: in each country Why it matters: Each country makes the table's country-specific percentages clearer.
- 3. Use plural measures Original: number and percentage of international students Suggested revision: numbers and percentages of international students Why it matters: Plural forms better reflect the separate totals and proportions across several countries.
- 4. Use formal transition Original: Next, if we look at Suggested revision: Turning to Why it matters: This concise transition avoids conversational reference to the writer and reader.
- 5. Sentence rewrite Original: The figures for Australia and the UK were similar, increasing from around 120,000 to almost 200,000. Suggested revision: Australia and the UK each had about 120,000 foreign students in 2004, rising to roughly 190,000 and 197,000 respectively in 2012. Why it matters: Separate end values represent the two bars more precisely while preserving the comparison.
- 6. Sharpen the overview Suggested revision: State that totals rose in all four countries, while proportions rose in three and remained unchanged in the USA. Why it matters: The visual supports a more precise overview than the broad phrase most countries.
- 7. Compare the increases Suggested revision: Add that the UK recorded the largest numerical rise, whereas Canada had the smallest increase. Why it matters: Comparing the scale of change would highlight a key feature of the bar chart.
- 8. Complete table coverage Suggested revision: Include the changes for the UK, Australia, and Canada from 2004 to 2012, not only Australia's final value and the USA's stable figure. Why it matters: Most of the table's comparative data is currently omitted.
Suggested Rewrites
- in the years 2004 and 2012 in 2004 and 2012
- in the countries in each country
- number and percentage of international students numbers and percentages of international students
- Next, if we look at Turning to
- The figures for Australia and the UK were similar, increasing from around 120,000 to almost 200,000. Australia and the UK each had about 120,000 foreign students in 2004, rising to roughly 190,000 and 197,000 respectively in 2012.
- Sharpen the overview State that totals rose in all four countries, while proportions rose in three and remained unchanged in the USA.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is clearly organized and accurately conveys the main trends, strongest contrasts, and principal student-number figures. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage of the percentage table, especially the omitted changes for the UK, Australia's 2004 baseline, and Canada; priority should be given to adding these selective comparisons while maintaining the concise, controlled style.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and all reported figures are accurate, but several important percentage changes from the table are omitted.
Add a concise comparison covering the UK's rise from 9% to 13%, Australia's rise from 19% to 24%, and Canada's rise from 5% to 7%.
Coherence and Cohesion
The three-paragraph structure creates a clear progression from overview to student totals and then percentage comparisons.
Replace slightly mechanical transitions such as 'Starting with' and 'Next, if we look' with more direct topic-led openings.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is accurate and suitably varied, with effective use of terms for quantities, proportions, and change despite some repetition.
Vary repeated references to 'foreign students' selectively while retaining precise labels for the measured groups.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex sentence forms is used with consistently strong accuracy and clear control.
For further refinement, vary clause openings and use concise participial structures where they improve comparisons without reducing clarity.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart and table show information about students from abroad studying in four English-speaking countries in 2004 and 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.