The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.
Sample Response
The pie charts illustrates energy generation from from five different sources in France in two years 1995 and 2005.
It is clear that while the percentages of energy produced from Coal, Gas, Nuclear and Other sources increased, the reverse was true for Petrol over the period shown. Additionally, Coal and Gas were the two most significant means of energy production in this country during the research period.
In 1995, Coal was the primary source of energy in France with the figure registering nearly 30%, while Gas and Petrol were used to create 29.63% and 29.27% of the total energy respectively. In contrast, only 4.9% of the total energy was manufactured from other sources compared with 6.4% by Nuclear power.
In 2005, the proportions of energy generated from Coal and Gas rose insignificantly to 30.93% and 30.31% respectively. By contrast, much less energy was produced from Petrol as illustrated by a dramatic fall of nearly 10% to only 19.55%. Meanwhile, there were considerable increases in the figures for Nuclear and Other sources to 10.10% and 9.10% respectively.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject agreement Original: illustrates Suggested revision: illustrate Why it matters: The plural subject 'charts' requires the base-form verb 'illustrate'.
- 2. Remove repeated word Original: from from Suggested revision: from Why it matters: The preposition is accidentally repeated.
- 3. State years naturally Original: in two years 1995 and 2005 Suggested revision: in 1995 and 2005 Why it matters: The two specific years can be introduced directly with 'in'.
- 4. Standardise category names Original: Coal, Gas, Nuclear and Other sources Suggested revision: coal, gas, nuclear power and other sources Why it matters: These generic energy categories do not require capitals, and 'nuclear power' is the natural term.
- 5. Use chart terminology Original: means of energy production Suggested revision: sources of energy Why it matters: 'Sources of energy' is more direct and matches the categories shown.
- 6. Use accurate timeframe Original: during the research period Suggested revision: during the period shown Why it matters: The charts show two comparison years rather than a research period.
- 7. Use proportion phrase Original: were used to create 29.63% and 29.27% of the total energy Suggested revision: accounted for 29.63% and 29.27% of total energy Why it matters: Energy sources account for proportions; they are not themselves used to create percentages.
- 8. Use energy collocation Original: manufactured Suggested revision: generated Why it matters: Energy is normally 'generated' or 'produced', not 'manufactured'.
- 9. Correct source preposition Original: by Nuclear power Suggested revision: from nuclear power Why it matters: Use 'from' to identify the source from which energy was generated.
- 10. Describe small rises Original: insignificantly Suggested revision: slightly Why it matters: 'Slightly' describes the small numerical increases without implying a statistical test.
Suggested Rewrites
- illustrates illustrate
- from from from
- in two years 1995 and 2005 in 1995 and 2005
- Coal, Gas, Nuclear and Other sources coal, gas, nuclear power and other sources
- means of energy production sources of energy
- during the research period during the period shown
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response provides a clear overview, accurately reports every energy category in both years, and makes the important comparisons efficiently. Its main limitation is a small cluster of grammatical and lexical slips, especially in the introduction and in descriptions such as energy being 'manufactured'; the highest-priority improvement is careful proofreading for agreement, duplication, and natural data-reporting collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and supporting figures accurately cover all five sources and clearly identify the dominant categories and principal change.
Refine the description of the small coal and gas rises by calling them slight rather than insignificant.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into an introduction, overview, and two well-focused detail paragraphs with clear progression.
Maintain this structure while reducing reliance on routine contrast markers where the comparison is already evident.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, though a few choices such as 'manufactured from' and 'research period' sound unnatural in this context.
Prefer natural Task 1 collocations such as 'energy was generated from' and 'over the period shown.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of controlled sentence forms, with occasional slips in agreement and duplication that do not impede meaning.
Proofread the opening sentence to correct 'charts illustrates,' remove the repeated 'from,' and punctuate the two years clearly.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows a comparison of different kinds of energy production in France in 1995 and 2005.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.