The maps below illustrate how Frenton changed from 1990 to 2012.
Sample Response
The chart illustrates the modification that happened in Fenton from 1990 to 2012. Overall, it is immediately apparent from the chart that several upgrades were observed in Fenton over 22 years. Still, the location of schools, Hospital Cinema and main Road remains the same as compared to the previous map.
In detail, according to the blueprint of Fronton, the West houses were replaced with blocks of flats after 22 years, and one additional block of flats was constructed on the north side of the league, which connected both of them. Moreover, in the middle of Fenton, the Cafe and Park were converted into a hotel and golf course with the exact dimensions of the Park in 2012. the next bottom of the map in the east-west direction the name of theatre and shops got changed with newer cinema and supermarkets after 12 years.
Furthermore, in the South direction, the High Street gets remains the same, but playing Fields which were covered with trees got demolished and new department blocks of flats connected with the main road, surprisingly, the hospital area got extended after 22 years. It is interesting to note that schools remain the same, but the area of the bank got upgraded and changed with a restaurant in 2912. moreover, in the boundary of Main Road, the Department of the library looked identical and untouched in 2012, but the area of the trees changed into a taco Park after 22 years.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct visual Original: The chart illustrates Suggested revision: The maps illustrate Why it matters: The task shows two maps rather than a chart.
- 2. Use concise phrasing Original: modification that happened Suggested revision: changes that occurred Why it matters: This phrase describes the developments more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Correct place name Original: Fenton Suggested revision: Frenton Why it matters: The place name in the task and map is Frenton.
- 4. Use neutral description Original: upgrades Suggested revision: changes Why it matters: Maps show changes, while upgrades adds an unsupported positive judgement.
- 5. Use common-noun case Original: Cafe and Park Suggested revision: café and park Why it matters: These common nouns should be lower case in this sentence.
- 6. Remove unsupported detail Original: with the exact dimensions of the Park Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The maps do not provide measurements that establish identical dimensions.
- 7. Fix verb form Original: gets remains Suggested revision: remained Why it matters: A single past-tense verb is required for the completed comparison.
- 8. Lowercase common noun Original: Fields Suggested revision: fields Why it matters: Fields is a common noun and should not be capitalised here.
- 9. Describe replacement Original: got demolished Suggested revision: were replaced Why it matters: The map shows that blocks of flats replaced the playing fields.
- 10. Remove wrong modifier Original: department blocks of flats Suggested revision: blocks of flats Why it matters: Department is not part of the feature shown on the 2012 map.
- 11. Use formal passive Original: got extended Suggested revision: was expanded Why it matters: Was expanded is the appropriate passive form for the hospital change.
- 12. Name feature directly Original: the area of the bank Suggested revision: the bank Why it matters: The feature itself, rather than its area, was replaced.
Suggested Rewrites
- The chart illustrates The maps illustrate
- modification that happened changes that occurred
- Fenton Frenton
- upgrades changes
- Cafe and Park café and park
- with the exact dimensions of the Park Delete
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response attempts to cover nearly all the principal changes and includes useful details about housing, the hotel and golf course, and altered public facilities. However, the overview is vague and partly contradictory, while several labels, dates, and spatial descriptions are inaccurate or unclear. The priority is to build an accurate overview of the dominant redevelopment and then describe each map area with precise labels and controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Many major changes are mentioned, but the overview inaccurately treats the hospital and cinema as unchanged and several details are misstated.
State the broad redevelopment accurately, then verify every facility name, location, and the 22-year period against the maps.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides some organisation, but long overloaded sentences, unclear references, and abrupt sequencing weaken progression.
Group changes by west and east of High Street and use one controlled sentence for each comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response shows some range, but frequent inappropriate or inaccurate choices such as upgrades, league, department, and taco Park obscure map details.
Use the exact map labels and straightforward change verbs such as replaced, converted, expanded, and remained.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, articles, agreement, and punctuation regularly strain clarity despite some successful complex forms.
Prioritise complete sentences with consistent past-tense verbs and correct clause boundaries.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The maps below illustrate how Frenton changed from 1990 to 2012.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.