The diagram shows how fruit is canned.
Sample Response
The diagram shows how fruit is cannedpresents the whole process of producing canned fruit under modern manufacturing conditionscondition. Overall, fresh fruit is harvested and processed through a series of stagesprocessed through various steps with the help of equipment to be canned and put on shelvesshelf for sale.
First, the fruit is hand-picked Deleteby farmers and then transported to the next stageto the factory by truck. After being washedAfter initial cleaning, the fruit undergoes quality checkinggoes for quality assurance and cold storagecold storage to ensure freshness. Another quality control procedure is employed. At this stage, the fruit is then weighed and graded to remove poor quality ones. The selected fruitQualified fruit is then peeled, cored and slicedpeeled and sliced into pieces, with the core being removed. These pieces are putare to be put into cansin cans by automatic robotic arms. Afterwards, cans are sealed, then cooked and sterilisedsealed and sterilised through a special heating process, followed by a labelling processlabeling process. Finished products are stocked on pallets and stored awaiting ordersawaiting for orders. Finally, they are distributed to stores via truck. Thanks to automation and machines, canned fruit can be mass produced with consistence quality.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response follows nearly the full production sequence and uses a broad range of process vocabulary to guide the reader clearly from harvesting to dispatch. Its main limitation is the addition of unsupported details, including a second quality-control procedure, robotic arms, pallets, and a claim about consistent quality. The highest-priority improvement is to report only what the diagram shows and polish recurring article, preposition, and word-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most stages are covered in the correct overall order, but several unsupported details reduce the accuracy of the report.
Remove invented mechanisms and outcomes, and represent weighing and grading as the next stage after cold storage rather than another quality check.
Coherence and Cohesion
The description progresses clearly from hand-picking through processing to dispatch, with effective chronological linking.
Separate the long sequence into two focused detail paragraphs at a natural production-stage boundary for easier reading.
Lexical Resource
A broad process vocabulary is evident, though several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use precise forms such as 'under modern manufacturing conditions', 'awaiting orders', and 'consistent quality'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex and passive structures, but recurring article, preposition, and word-form errors reduce accuracy.
Check articles and fixed verb patterns carefully, especially in phrases involving shelves, labelling, storage, and waiting for orders.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram shows how fruit is canned.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.