The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time.
Sample Response
The bar chart illustrates how many males and females have studied in full-time and part-time education in the following years: 1970 to 1971, 1980 to 1981 and 1990 to 1991. It is clear that in all three time periods more people of both sexes were involved in part-time education than fulltime. Overall the number of men in fulltime education rose from approximately 100 thousand to 200 thousand, whereas the number of men in part-time education was lower in the early nineties than twenty years earlier. As far as women are concerned, the numbers increased in both sectors of education. The number of part-time female students increased dramatically from 700 thousand to 1.2 million in the twenty year period. The amount of women in fulltime education went up more gradually from 100 thousand in 1971 to just over 200 thousand in 1991. This was similar the increase for fulltime male students. To sum up, the number of women in both sectors increased significantly while it seems that the rate of men entering part-time education decreased a little and was fluctuating.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use past simple Original: have studied Suggested revision: studied Why it matters: The three completed historical periods require the past simple rather than the present perfect.
- 2. Correct study mode Original: part Suggested revision: full Why it matters: The blue series is labelled full-time education in the chart.
- 3. Correct final figure Original: 2 Suggested revision: 1 Why it matters: The final blue bar for women reaches approximately 1,100 thousand.
- 4. Use count noun Original: amount Suggested revision: number Why it matters: Use "number" with the countable noun "women."
- 5. Correct study mode Original: fulltime education went up Suggested revision: part-time education rose Why it matters: The smaller red series described here represents part-time education.
- 6. Correct values and periods Original: from 100 thousand in 1971 to just over 200 thousand in 1991 Suggested revision: from about 50 thousand in 1970/71 to 200 thousand in 1990/91 Why it matters: These are the approximate values and period labels shown for women's part-time education.
- 7. Correct comparison group Original: fulltime male students Suggested revision: part-time male students Why it matters: The comparable rise from roughly 100 to 200 thousand is in the male part-time series.
- 8. Match chart labels Original: males and females Suggested revision: men and women Why it matters: Using the chart's own labels is more direct and consistent.
- 9. Name periods accurately Original: years Suggested revision: periods Why it matters: Each label represents an academic-year period rather than a single year.
- 10. Match period labels Original: 1970 to 1971, 1980 to 1981 and 1990 to 1991 Suggested revision: 1970/71, 1980/81 and 1990/91 Why it matters: This format reproduces the three period labels shown on the chart.
- 11. Use concise transition Original: As far as women are concerned Suggested revision: For women Why it matters: The shorter transition introduces the female data more directly.
- 12. Use precise category term Original: both sectors of education Suggested revision: both modes of study Why it matters: Full-time and part-time are modes of study rather than education sectors.
Suggested Rewrites
- have studied studied
- part full
- 2 1
- amount number
- fulltime education went up part-time education rose
- from 100 thousand in 1971 to just over 200 thousand in 1991 from about 50 thousand in 1970/71 to 200 thousand in 1990/91
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is generally clear and uses a reasonable range of language to describe changes over time. However, it reverses the chart’s full-time and part-time categories, so nearly all central comparisons and figures are attached to the wrong mode of study, substantially weakening task fulfilment. The highest priority is to verify the legend before planning and then organise accurate male and female comparisons in separate, clearly developed paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies several numerical trends, but it reverses the full-time and part-time series and therefore misreports the chart's main features.
Read the legend first and relabel every comparison correctly: the blue full-time figures are much larger, while the red part-time figures are lower.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a broadly logical progression from an overview to male and female trends, although repetition and one-paragraph presentation weaken the organisation.
Create a distinct overview and group the detailed comparisons into focused paragraphs, avoiding a repetitive concluding summary.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for describing quantities and trends, but several collocations are imprecise or awkward.
Use accurate expressions such as “the number of women,” “a similar increase to,” and “male participation” rather than “the amount of women” or “the rate of men entering.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences with generally clear meaning, though several grammatical errors remain noticeable.
Correct missing comparison structures and tense choices, especially “This was similar to the increase” and simple past forms for completed historical periods.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.