The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education.
Sample Response
The chart shows the number of female students per 100 male students in primary, secondary and tertiary education.
On Average, more boys than girls were enrolled in school both in 1990 and 1998 in all the countries, except in tertiary education in developed countries. The number of girls per 100 boys was bigger in 1998 than in 1990 in the two country groups and in all the educational stages.
Turning to the detail, there were more boys than girls in primary and secondary education. As can be seen, developing countries saw a bigger discrepancy between the numbers of male and female students than developed countries, with the number of girls per 100 boys at 83 in 1990 and 87 in 1998 in primary education.
However, in developed countries, the balance of the two was much closer to the ideal, particularly in secondary education, with 98 girls per 100 boys in 1990 and 99 in 1998.
Regarding tertiary education, the balance was even worse than in any other levels of education in developing countries with 66 girls enrolled for every 100 boys in 1990 and 75 in 1998. On the other hand, in developing countries, the number of girls overtook that of boys at 105 per 100 boys in 1990 and 112 in 1998.
This answer would probably exceed Band 7
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use lowercase Original: Average Suggested revision: average Why it matters: “Average” is not a proper noun and should not be capitalized here.
- 2. Name the chart groups Original: all the countries Suggested revision: both country groups Why it matters: The chart compares developing and developed country groups rather than every country.
- 3. Use data language Original: bigger Suggested revision: higher Why it matters: “Higher” is the more precise comparative for a numerical ratio.
- 4. Use the plural phrase Original: detail Suggested revision: details Why it matters: The established phrase uses the plural when introducing several data points.
- 5. Use precise comparison Original: a bigger discrepancy Suggested revision: a wider disparity Why it matters: This collocation describes the numerical gap between male and female enrolment more precisely.
- 6. Name the ratio clearly Original: the balance of the two Suggested revision: the ratio of girls to boys Why it matters: The replacement identifies exactly which numerical relationship is close to the target.
- 7. Use singular after any Original: levels Suggested revision: level Why it matters: A singular count noun is required after “any other” in this comparison.
- 8. Use concise chart terms Original: female students per 100 male students Suggested revision: girls per 100 boys Why it matters: The shorter wording matches the chart’s measure and avoids unnecessary repetition of “students.”
- 9. Specify the levels Original: in school both in 1990 and 1998 Suggested revision: at these education levels in both 1990 and 1998 Why it matters: This wording links enrolment directly to the three levels shown in the chart.
- 10. Use a natural term Original: in all the educational stages Suggested revision: at every education level Why it matters: “Education level” is the clearer term for primary, secondary, and tertiary categories.
- 11. Remove vague signposting Original: As can be seen Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The phrase does not identify a specific relationship and can be removed for a more direct comparison.
- 12. Describe the measured ratio Original: between the numbers of male and female students Suggested revision: between girls’ and boys’ enrolment ratios Why it matters: The chart reports girls per 100 boys rather than separate totals of male and female students.
Suggested Rewrites
- Average average
- all the countries both country groups
- bigger higher
- detail details
- a bigger discrepancy a wider disparity
- the balance of the two the ratio of girls to boys
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response provides a clear overview and uses several accurate comparisons, particularly for developing-country primary and tertiary education and developed-country secondary education. Its main weakness is uneven coverage combined with a serious category error: the 105 and 112 tertiary figures belong to developed countries, while some other groups are omitted. Correct that attribution, cover the missing categories selectively, and remove the irrelevant closing self-evaluation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview accurately identifies the overall gender gap and universal increases, but coverage is incomplete and the developed-country tertiary figures are misattributed.
State that developed countries reached 105 and 112 girls in tertiary education and add the omitted developing-country secondary figures of 72 and 82.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a logical overview-to-detail progression by education level, but several short paragraphs and the final self-evaluation weaken unity.
Group related comparisons into fuller detail paragraphs and end after the final data comparison rather than commenting on the likely score.
Lexical Resource
A useful range of comparison language is used, including discrepancy, balance, and overtook, with occasional awkward collocations.
Prefer greater discrepancy and other levels of education to make comparisons more natural and precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally good control, although there are occasional agreement, article, and comparison-form errors.
Edit forms such as on average, any other level, and the number was higher to improve grammatical precision.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.