The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Sample Response

IELTS Writing Correction

• 1. Article error Original: Film club has high number of members Suggested revision: The film club had a high number of members Why it matters: Add the definite article 'The' at the beginning and the indefinite article 'a' before 'high number'. Use past tense as the data is from 2000-2020.
• 2. Verb tense/form Original: till 2020 is remained same Suggested revision: until 2020 it remained virtually unchanged Why it matters: 'is remained same' is grammatically incorrect. Use 'it remained' in the past tense.
• 3. Imprecise phrasing Original: same format like Suggested revision: a similar trend to Why it matters: 'Same format like' is informal and inaccurate for describing line graph trends.
• 4. Missing subject Original: in 2000 is almost 40 Suggested revision: which stood at almost 40 in 2000 Why it matters: The clause lacks a subject. Adding 'which stood at' connects it properly to the previous clause.
• 5. Plural noun error Original: Amateur dramatics is one of the activity Suggested revision: Amateur dramatics was one of the activities Why it matters: The phrase 'one of the' must be followed by a plural noun ('activities'). Also, use past tense ('was').
• 6. Spelling error Original: and than Suggested revision: and then Why it matters: 'Than' is used for comparisons; 'then' is used for sequences in time.
• 7. Incorrect verb form Original: Musical performances is started Suggested revision: Musical performances started Why it matters: Do not use 'is' before the past tense verb 'started' here; it should be a simple past active verb.
• 8. Data accuracy and grammar Original: Table tennis is opposite of amateur dramatics because till 2005 is only 20 and than increased each year by 10. Suggested revision: In contrast to amateur dramatics, the number of table tennis participants remained stable at 20 until 2010, after which it experienced a sharp increase to over 50 by 2020. Why it matters: The original sentence contains grammatical errors ('is opposite of', 'is only 20') and inaccurate data (table tennis did not increase by 10 'each year' after 2005; it stayed flat at 20 until 2010, then rose).
• 9. Add an Overview Paragraph Suggested revision: Overall, the film club and martial arts maintained relatively stable participation rates throughout the period, while table tennis and musical performances saw significant growth. Conversely, amateur dramatics experienced a steady decline in popularity. Why it matters: An Academic Task 1 essay must contain a clear overview summarizing the main trends. Inserting this paragraph right after the introduction will significantly improve your Task Achievement score.
• 10. Missing Overview Suggested revision: Always include a clear overview paragraph summarizing the main trends, differences, or stages. Without this, the Task Achievement score is capped at Band 5. Why it matters: The overview should not contain specific numbers, but rather a high-level summary of the overall movement of the lines.
• 11. Use Past Tense Suggested revision: Since the graph depicts data from a completed historical period (2000 to 2020), use the past tense consistently (e.g., 'remained', 'started', 'declined', 'stood at') instead of the present tense. Why it matters: Mixing present and past tenses incorrectly reduces the grammatical accuracy score.

Suggested Rewrites

• Film club has high number of members The film club had a high number of members
• till 2020 is remained same until 2020 it remained virtually unchanged
• same format like a similar trend to
• in 2000 is almost 40 which stood at almost 40 in 2000
• Amateur dramatics is one of the activity Amateur dramatics was one of the activities
• and than and then