The table data below shows the top ten Internet users by country in 2016.
Sample Response
The table data lists down the top ten countries in the world with the highest number of internet users in the year 2016. It gives the number of people with access to the internet, the total population of the country and the percentage of people with internet access as of 2016. Overall, China had the highest internet users while the UK and Japan had the highest ratio of internet users. As is signified in the illustration, the population of China in 2016 was over 1.3 billion and more than half of them had access to the internet. In terms of the number of internet users, China stood at the top of the list where India and the USA held the second and third positions respectively with over 462 million and 286 million internet users. Though India’s population was more than 1.3 billion, only one-third of them were connected to the internet, unlike the USA where almost nine out of ten citizens used the internet. Brazil, Japan and Russia with more than 100 million netizens each (citizens who are connected to the internet) stood fourth till sixth positions. The UK and Mexico were at the bottom of the list with around 60 million netizens. However, the internet users’ ratio in the UK was highest, over 92% while it was the second highest in the USA.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct verb Original: lists down Suggested revision: lists Why it matters: 'List' does not require the particle 'down' in this context.
- 2. Remove redundancy Original: in the world Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The global scope is already clear from the reference to countries and the top ten.
- 3. Be concise Original: in the year 2016 Suggested revision: in 2016 Why it matters: The shorter time expression is clearer and equally precise.
- 4. Match plural countries Original: the total population of the country Suggested revision: each country's total population Why it matters: The table contains a separate population figure for every listed country.
- 5. Use consistent date Original: as of 2016 Suggested revision: in 2016 Why it matters: This phrasing is more direct and consistent with the table's single-year data.
- 6. Name the quantity Original: the highest internet users Suggested revision: the largest number of internet users Why it matters: Countries can have the largest number of users, but users themselves are not 'highest'.
- 7. Use table measure Original: the highest ratio of internet users Suggested revision: the highest proportions of internet users Why it matters: 'Proportions' accurately describes the percentage column for two countries.
- 8. Use direct reporting Original: As is signified in the illustration Suggested revision: The table shows that Why it matters: This is a clearer and more natural way to introduce tabular evidence.
- 9. State rank directly Original: China stood at the top of the list Suggested revision: China ranked first Why it matters: The replacement reports the ranking more concisely.
- 10. Fix clause link Original: where India and the USA Suggested revision: while India and the U.S. Why it matters: 'While' correctly contrasts China's position with the next two countries.
- 11. Use precise phrasing Original: Though India’s population was more than 1.3 billion Suggested revision: Although India's population exceeded 1.3 billion Why it matters: The replacement is concise and formal while preserving the stated comparison.
- 12. Clarify reference Original: one-third of them Suggested revision: about one-third of its population Why it matters: The singular possessive reference clearly points back to India.
Suggested Rewrites
- lists down lists
- in the world Delete
- in the year 2016 in 2016
- the total population of the country each country's total population
- as of 2016 in 2016
- the highest internet users the largest number of internet users
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a useful overview, selects the leading countries, and makes effective comparisons between absolute user totals and penetration rates. Its main content flaw is the final claim that the United States had the second-highest percentage, whereas Japan occupied that position, and a few phrases are grammatically awkward. Prioritise verifying rankings across all columns and expressing quantities with precise, natural comparison structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The overview and most supporting comparisons are accurate and relevant, but the final percentage ranking incorrectly places the United States above Japan.
State that the UK had the highest penetration rate at 92.6%, followed by Japan at 91.1%, and check each ranking against the table.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves logically from an overview to the highest totals, contrasting percentages, and lower-ranked countries, with clear overall progression.
Divide the report into an overview and two detail paragraphs, grouping absolute user totals separately from penetration-rate comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of vocabulary for rankings and proportions, although phrases such as 'lists down' and 'highest internet users' are imprecise.
Use natural formulations such as 'lists,' 'the largest number of internet users,' and 'ranked fourth to sixth.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are mostly accurate and meaning remains clear, though several article, noun-phrase, and ranking constructions are awkward.
Revise forms such as 'China had the largest number of users' and 'Brazil, Japan, and Russia ranked fourth, fifth, and sixth respectively.'