The table below gives information about online activities of people in different age groups.
Sample Response
The table data provides information about what people from different age groups do when they are online. Overall, the online actions of people vary greatly based on their age groups and getting online news is the most common online activity of people regardless of their age. As can be seen from the given data, teenagers mostly play online games, do social networking, get news online, download different contents, purchase products and watch videos. 81% of teenagers’ activity involves playing online video games while getting news and social networking are their second and third most preferred online activities. Teenagers hardly do product research (2% only) or search others. Among the people who are over 19 years old and are younger than 40 years old, getting digital news, researching products, social networking and purchasing products are quite common. On the contrary, people over 39 years old and younger than 60 years old mostly like to get online news, research products, and purchase products. Downloading digital content is not popular among the people of this age group. It is interesting that getting online news is a very popular activity among the people of all age groups while downloading is popular among the teenagers only. Older people mostly like to get news, do product research and scarcely download. It is quite obvious that people in their twenties like to watch online videos more than the netizens of other age groups. Finally, social networking is popular among the younger internet users.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the redundant noun Original: table data provides information Suggested revision: table provides information Why it matters: Table already refers to the displayed data, so data is unnecessary here.
- 2. Use the task term Original: online actions Suggested revision: online activities Why it matters: Activities is the appropriate term for the categories listed in the table.
- 3. Make the comparison concise Original: based on their age groups Suggested revision: by age group Why it matters: This phrase expresses variation across the age categories more directly.
- 4. Use an uncountable noun Original: download different contents Suggested revision: download digital content Why it matters: Content is normally uncountable when referring generally to downloaded material.
- 5. State the percentage correctly Original: 81% of teenagers’ activity involves playing online video games Suggested revision: 81% of teenagers play online games Why it matters: The percentage represents the share of teenagers doing the activity, not the share of their total activity.
- 6. Correct the ranking Original: getting news and social networking are their second and third Suggested revision: social networking and getting news are their second and third Why it matters: The table gives 77% for social networking and 76% for getting news.
- 7. Place only naturally Original: (2% only) Suggested revision: (only 2%) Why it matters: Only normally appears before the quantity it limits.
- 8. Name the activity accurately Original: search others Suggested revision: search for people Why it matters: Searching for people is the category shown in the table.
- 9. Use a comparison linker Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: By contrast compares age groups, while on the contrary rejects a previous claim.
- 10. Name the age bands Original: people over 39 years old and younger than 60 years old Suggested revision: people in their 40s and 50s Why it matters: This wording matches the two age columns in the table more directly.
- 11. Describe measured activity Original: mostly like to get online news Suggested revision: most commonly get online news Why it matters: The table reports participation percentages rather than personal preferences.
- 12. Match the grouped ages Original: among the people of this age group Suggested revision: in these age groups Why it matters: The preceding range covers the separate 40s and 50s columns, so a plural reference is needed.
Suggested Rewrites
- table data provides information table provides information
- online actions online activities
- based on their age groups by age group
- download different contents download digital content
- 81% of teenagers’ activity involves playing online video games 81% of teenagers play online games
- getting news and social networking are their second and third social networking and getting news are their second and third
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response identifies several genuine age-related patterns and uses a reasonably broad range of comparison language, with accurate observations about teenage gaming, product research and younger users' social networking. However, the central overview incorrectly presents news as the leading activity across all ages and the report supplies too little numerical support, so the priority is to identify the true category leaders and substantiate comparisons with selected figures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
Several age-related patterns are identified, but the overview is inaccurate because news is not the most common activity in most groups, and adult comparisons lack figures.
State that gaming leads among teens while product research leads most adult groups, then support those trends with selected percentages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move broadly from teenagers to adult groups and then to cross-age trends, but the single long paragraph and repeated concluding observations weaken organisation.
Separate the overview from two focused detail paragraphs, grouping younger users and older users with clear comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The response shows sufficient range for describing trends, although expressions such as 'download different contents', 'search others' and 'netizens' are awkward or unclear.
Use precise table language such as 'download content', 'search for people' and 'internet users'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is used with generally clear meaning, though some noun phrases, articles and comparative constructions remain awkward.
Edit wordy age-group structures and check agreement and article use in every comparison.