The table below highlights data on the number of travellers using three major German airports between 2007 and 2012. Airport visitors, 2007-2012 (millions of travellers per year) Dusseldorf 27.2 36.4 48.2 37.1 33.2 45.6 Frankfurt 36.5 41.9 44.4 47.3 51.1 69.3 Berlin Tegel 17.3 26.6 39.9 43.3
Sample Response
The table summarises the number of passengers who travelled through three German airports during 2007 and 2012. As a general trend, the Frankfurt was the busiest air-terminal with the highest number of passengers while the visitor number is the Berlin Tegel airport increased remarkably. As can be seen, the Frankfurt airport served more than 36 million passengers in 2007 when travellers in the Dusseldorf airport was just above 27 million, almost 10 million higher than that of Berlin Tegel. Passengers in these airports in the next two years significantly grew and the Dusseldorf airport served the highest number of commuters in 2009, approximately 48 million. Passengers in the Berlin Tegel more than doubled in just two years. Meanwhile, visitors in the Dusseldorf airport declined but served more than 45 million people in 2012, highest during the whole period. On the contrary, Frankfurt airport received an increasing number of passengers each year before hitting the peak in 2012 with almost 70 million passengers. Interestingly, Berlin Tegel airport was preferred by the same number of air travellers in 2010, 2011 and 2012, which was 43.3 million, the highest growth compared to the initial passenger number in these airports.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct range Original: during 2007 and 2012 Suggested revision: between 2007 and 2012 Why it matters: Use 'between' to describe the full time range from one year to another.
- 2. Remove the article Original: the Frankfurt Suggested revision: Frankfurt Airport Why it matters: The proper name does not take 'the' in this structure.
- 3. Use standard term Original: air-terminal Suggested revision: airport Why it matters: 'Airport' is the standard and more natural term for this facility.
- 4. Repair noun phrase Original: the visitor number is the Berlin Tegel airport Suggested revision: passenger numbers at Berlin Tegel Airport Why it matters: The original phrase has an incorrect preposition and verb inside the noun phrase.
- 5. Use proper name Original: the Frankfurt airport Suggested revision: Frankfurt Airport Why it matters: The airport name should be capitalised and used without an article.
- 6. Clarify comparison Original: when Suggested revision: while Why it matters: 'While' more clearly signals the contrast between the two airport figures.
- 7. Fix agreement Original: travellers in the Dusseldorf airport was Suggested revision: the number of travellers at Dusseldorf Airport was Why it matters: A singular head noun is needed to agree with 'was', and 'at' is the natural preposition.
- 8. Fix word order Original: these airports in the next two years significantly grew Suggested revision: the passenger totals at these airports grew significantly over the next two years Why it matters: Passenger totals, rather than the airports themselves, are what increased.
- 9. Keep terminology precise Original: commuters Suggested revision: passengers Why it matters: 'Passengers' accurately matches the people counted in the table.
- 10. Complete proper name Original: the Berlin Tegel Suggested revision: Berlin Tegel Airport Why it matters: Use the full airport name without the definite article.
- 11. Describe the figure Original: visitors in the Dusseldorf airport declined Suggested revision: passenger numbers at Dusseldorf Airport declined Why it matters: The number declined, not the passengers themselves.
- 12. Add clear subject Original: but served Suggested revision: but the airport served Why it matters: The clause needs an explicit subject because 'visitors' is the subject of the preceding clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- during 2007 and 2012 between 2007 and 2012
- the Frankfurt Frankfurt Airport
- air-terminal airport
- the visitor number is the Berlin Tegel airport passenger numbers at Berlin Tegel Airport
- the Frankfurt airport Frankfurt Airport
- when while
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview and selects several useful comparisons, especially the steady rise at Frankfurt and Berlin Tegel's plateau. Its main weakness is precision: it incorrectly calls Dusseldorf's 2012 figure its period high and makes an ambiguous claim about Berlin Tegel having the greatest growth, while several awkward clauses blur otherwise accurate reporting. Prioritise checking every superlative and trend claim against the table, then express comparisons with cleaner grammatical structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and covers the main airport trends with relevant figures, but a few claims about peaks and growth are inaccurate or ambiguous.
Verify each highest, lowest, and growth comparison against all six years before finalising the report.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview to selected yearly comparisons, although the single-paragraph format and a few unsuitable connectors weaken the structure.
Separate the overview from two grouped detail paragraphs and use contrast markers only where the data genuinely contrast.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied range of trend and travel vocabulary communicates the data clearly, but several collocations and synonym choices are imprecise.
Prefer precise combinations such as passenger numbers rose, passenger traffic fell, and the airport handled travellers.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences, but recurring article, agreement, and clause-control errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread airport names without unnecessary articles and ensure every subject agrees with its verb.