The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

Sample Response

1

These two graphs mainly focus on water consumption patternswater using situations aroundaroung the world. The first diagram shows different water consumption among three sectors. All three sectors have a dramaticallydramatic increasing consumption from 1900 to 2000. AgriculturalAgriculture water use was significantly higher than that ofpresents an abviously higher than other sectors from about 500 km³Km in 1900 to 3000 km³almost 3000 km in 2000. Meanwhile, among these three sectors, domestic use is the least all the time. Even until 2000 it does not reach the consumption for agricultureargueculture in 1900. As can be seen in the following tabletablet about water consumption in two countries. water for per person in Brazil ,about 359 ,have a undoubtfully excessive compared with that in DemocraticDemocractic Republic of Congo, only 8 m³only 8 for per person. Meanwhile the population and irrigated land in Brazil also were several times higher thanshow many times higher than those in Congo. Overall, theseOverall these two graphs illustrate the essential position of agriculture use of water in global water consumption. And theyit also indicate the influentialinfluencial factors of personal water consumption in a country.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 5.5

文章涵盖了折线图和表格的主要信息,并给出了包含趋势与比较的总体概述。然而,拼写错误、错误的测量单位(将Km³误写为Km)以及频繁的词汇表达和语法结构错误较多地干扰了语言的准确性。建议优先提升表达的准确度与规范性,特别是规范数据单位描述和复杂的比较句型。

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

任务完成度

6.0
Scoring rule

成功归纳了三大用水部门的增长趋势并对比了两国的数据,但在描述折线图单位时误将Km³写为Km。

Next step

在描述图表数据时须仔细核对并准确使用图表给出的具体单位和特征名称。

CC

连贯与衔接

5.0
Scoring rule

文章有基本的分段安排,但分句间的逻辑连接较为机械,部分逻辑指代不够清晰。

Next step

多使用多样化的连接词与合理的段落过渡句,增强上下文逻辑推进的流畅度。

LR

词汇资源

5.0
Scoring rule

使用了部分如sector、consumption等图表词汇,但拼写错误和措辞不当的现象较频繁。

Next step

加强对常用图表词汇拼写及常见词性搭配的积累与检查,减少不必要的拼写失误。

GRA

语法多样性与准确性

5.0
Scoring rule

尝试使用了复杂句式和比较结构,但存在较多主谓一致、介词误用和非谓语动词形式错误。

Next step

重点练习正确构成比较级句式和含从句的复合句,确保主谓一致与介词搭配准确。

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

Your response

Words0
20:00

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