The chart below shows the sales of handmade olive oil soaps to tourists in Turkey in 2015.
Sample Response
The chart details the sales of manufactured soaps (produced in olive oil) to travellers in Turkey in 2015. Overall, both the starting point and the end almost share similar data, while sales skyrocketed to peak in March and fell significantly in July and September. Units are measured in millions of Turkish Lira.
The sales started with 200 million in the month of January, have seen a gradual increase in the next month before reaching the highest number of the year in the month of March (350 million worth of soaps sold during this period). From there, the sales saw a substantial decrease till the month of July.
The numbers increased in the month of August as the sale crossed 200 million. However, that trend was not sustained for a longer period. The product sold only for around 125 million in September (sales similar to July), and then the statistics exhibited some hope, finishing the year with around 175 million.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Describe levels directly Original: both the starting point and the end almost share similar data Suggested revision: sales at the beginning and end were similar Why it matters: This wording states the comparison more directly and accurately.
- 2. Use measured trend language Original: sales skyrocketed Suggested revision: sales rose sharply Why it matters: A neutral description is more appropriate for an academic chart report.
- 3. Describe the troughs accurately Original: fell significantly in July and September Suggested revision: reached lows in July and September Why it matters: July is the endpoint of a multi-month decline, while September follows a sharp one-month fall.
- 4. Use standard capitalization Original: Lira Suggested revision: lira Why it matters: The currency name is normally written with a lowercase common noun.
- 5. Use concise time wording Original: till the month of July Suggested revision: until July Why it matters: The shorter form is clearer and more suitable for an academic report.
- 6. Report the August value Original: the sale crossed 200 million Suggested revision: sales rose to about 225 million lira Why it matters: The chart places August at approximately 225 million lira.
- 7. Name the measure Original: The numbers increased Suggested revision: Sales increased Why it matters: Naming sales directly is more precise than referring vaguely to numbers.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The chart details the sales of manufactured soaps (produced in olive oil) to travellers in Turkey in 2015. Suggested revision: The line chart shows sales of handmade olive-oil soaps to tourists in Turkey in 2015. Why it matters: The response should identify the chart type and product accurately.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: The sales started with 200 million in the month of January, have seen a gradual increase in the next month before reaching the highest number of the year in the month of March (350 million worth of soaps sold during this period). Suggested revision: Sales began at 200 million lira in January, rose gradually to about 225 million in February, and then peaked at 350 million in March. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the tense sequence and reports the three monthly values clearly.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: The product sold only for around 125 million in September (sales similar to July), and then the statistics exhibited some hope, finishing the year with around 175 million. Suggested revision: Sales fell to about 125 million lira in September, matching July, then recovered to around 175 million in October and November before finishing at approximately 180 million in December. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the faulty sales construction and distinguishes the final three monthly values.
Suggested Rewrites
- both the starting point and the end almost share similar data sales at the beginning and end were similar
- sales skyrocketed sales rose sharply
- fell significantly in July and September reached lows in July and September
- Lira lira
- till the month of July until July
- the sale crossed 200 million sales rose to about 225 million lira
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear chronological account and identifies the peak, troughs, and broad recovery accurately. Its main limitation is selective coverage: several important intermediate months, particularly the sharp fall from March through July and the late-year plateau, receive little or no quantified support. Add a few strategically chosen figures for April, June, October, and December while keeping the overview concise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and accurate values capture the principal peak, lows, and overall movement, though several intermediate stages lack quantified detail.
Support the March-to-July decline and the October-to-December plateau with a few well-selected monthly figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in chronological paragraphs, and cohesive devices make the changes easy to follow.
Strengthen continuity by linking the omitted middle and final months more explicitly into the chronological account.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of trend vocabulary, but several choices such as 'statistics exhibited some hope' are imprecise or unnatural.
Prefer neutral, precise chart language such as 'sales recovered' and 'remained broadly stable.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms communicates clearly, although tense control and sentence construction are occasionally uneven.
Maintain past-tense narration throughout and revise the long sentence beginning 'The sales started' to avoid the shift to 'have seen.'
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the sales of handmade olive oil soaps to tourists in Turkey in 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.