The table below describes percentages of homeschooled students in Some Country in 1999-2004.
Sample Response
The table presents data on the percentages of pupils who got their education at home in a few countries for a span of 5 years, commencing from 1999. As is obvious, the percentages of students who received home education gradually increased except for grade 1 to 4 in 2000. As can be seen from the given information, about 9% students in some countries went through homeschooling in 1999. Among them, the highest percentage (2.4%) were kindergarten children. All other students who were taught at home from grade 1 to grade 8 were classified in four categories. The ratio of homeschooled children in kindergarten slightly increased in every year and reached to 2.9% in 2004. The ratio of homeschooled pupils from grade 1 to grade 2 was 1.5% in 1999 which was exactly the same as it was for grade 5-6 students. Similarly, 1.6% students, both in grade 3 to 4 and grade 7-8 got homeschooling and this ratio showed an upward trend in 5 years’ time. While almost 1 out of 11 students in 1999 received education at home, this ratio became 1 out of 8 in 2004.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use singular country Original: a few countries Suggested revision: one country Why it matters: The table reports data for one country, not several countries.
- 2. Correct the duration Original: span of 5 years Suggested revision: six-year period Why it matters: The table covers six labelled years from 1999 through 2004.
- 3. Correct the exception Original: grade 1 to 4 in 2000 Suggested revision: grades 1–2 and 5–6 in 2000 Why it matters: Only these two groups fell in 2000; the grade 3–4 figure increased.
- 4. Use exact total Original: about 9% students Suggested revision: about 8.6% of students Why it matters: The five 1999 percentages sum to 8.6%, and percentage requires of before the noun.
- 5. Describe one country Original: in some countries went through homeschooling Suggested revision: in the country were homeschooled Why it matters: The visual concerns one country and were homeschooled is the natural passive form.
- 6. Clarify the reference Original: Among them Suggested revision: Across the five groups Why it matters: This replacement identifies the categories being compared.
- 7. Describe table groups Original: were classified in four categories Suggested revision: are presented in four grade groups Why it matters: The table presents four further grade groups rather than describing a classification process.
- 8. Avoid false continuity Original: in every year Suggested revision: over the period Why it matters: The kindergarten figure stayed at 2.7% in both 2002 and 2003.
- 9. Remove extra preposition Original: reached to Suggested revision: reached Why it matters: Reach takes a direct object and does not require to here.
- 10. Use concise grade range Original: from grade 1 to grade 2 Suggested revision: in grades 1–2 Why it matters: This is the conventional way to name a grade range.
- 11. Add relative comma Original: 1999 which Suggested revision: 1999, which Why it matters: A comma should introduce this non-defining relative clause.
- 12. Clarify grade grouping Original: grade 5-6 students Suggested revision: students in grades 5–6 Why it matters: This phrasing identifies the student group more naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- a few countries one country
- span of 5 years six-year period
- grade 1 to 4 in 2000 grades 1–2 and 5–6 in 2000
- about 9% students about 8.6% of students
- in some countries went through homeschooling in the country were homeschooled
- Among them Across the five groups
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response captures the overall rise in home schooling and selects several useful comparisons, including kindergarten's consistently highest rate and the combined totals in 1999 and 2004. Its main limitation is uneven accuracy and coverage: it misidentifies which grades changed in 2000 and gives little detail from later years; the priority is to compare the strongest increases across all grade groups using exact table values.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a valid broad trend and several accurate figures, but it wrongly refers to multiple countries and inaccurately describes the grade changes in 2000.
Compare the 1999 and 2004 endpoints for all groups and note that Grades 1–2 and 5–6 fell in 2000 while Grades 7–8 were unchanged.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from overview to category comparisons and combined totals is broadly clear, although the single-block presentation limits grouping.
Use a separate overview followed by two detail paragraphs, grouping kindergarten with the lower grades and then comparing the older grades.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range for proportions and trends, but phrases such as got their education, went through homeschooling, and reached to are unnatural.
Use precise combinations such as were homeschooled, the proportion rose, remained stable, and reached 2.9%.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence structures is attempted, but article, agreement, preposition, and punctuation errors recur without usually obscuring meaning.
Check plural agreement after percentages and remove unnecessary prepositions in forms such as reached 2.9% and increased each year.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below describes percentages of homeschooled students in Some Country in 1999-2004.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.