The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares how consumers in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan allocated different shares of total spending to categories such as food, housing, and transportation in 2009.
We can see that the United States had the highest housing expenditure share, 26% of total expenditures in 2009. The United Kingdom and Japan followed, with 24% and 22%, respectively. Canada had the lowest housing share at 21%. Housing was the largest expenditure component in all countries except Japan.
By contrast, Canada had the largest transportation share of all four countries at 20%. The United States and the United Kingdom had the next-highest transportation shares, 17% and 15%, respectively. Japan had the lowest, at 10%.
However, in Japan, consumers spent 23% of their total expenditures on food in 2009. The United Kingdom had the second-highest share at 20%. Canada, with 15%, and the United States, with 14% had the lowest food expenditure shares among the countries studied.
Overall, the data indicates that housing and health care shares of total expenditures were higher in the United States than in Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in 2009, whereas Americans had the lowest clothing share. Canada had the highest clothing and transportation shares, and Japan had the highest food share, among the countries compared.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name all categories Original: allocated different shares of total spending to categories such as food, housing, and transportation Suggested revision: allocated shares of their total expenditure among food, housing, transportation, health care, and clothing Why it matters: This wording is more natural and identifies all five categories shown in the chart.
- 2. Use direct reporting Original: We can see that Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Removing this conversational phrase makes the data statement more direct and academic.
- 3. Clarify the figure Original: housing expenditure share, 26% of total expenditures Suggested revision: housing expenditure share, at 26% of total expenditure Why it matters: The preposition clearly links the 26% figure to the housing share.
- 4. Clarify the ranking Original: had the next-highest transportation shares Suggested revision: recorded lower transportation shares Why it matters: The United States and the United Kingdom occupy different ranks, so this wording avoids grouping both as next-highest.
- 5. Signal the new category Original: However, in Japan, consumers Suggested revision: Turning to food, consumers in Japan Why it matters: This transition clearly signals a shift from transportation to food rather than an unexplained contrast.
- 6. Correct clothing comparison Original: Americans had the lowest clothing share Suggested revision: the United States and Japan had the joint-lowest clothing shares Why it matters: The chart shows both countries at about 4%, so the United States is not uniquely lowest.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: Canada, with 15%, and the United States, with 14% had the lowest food expenditure shares among the countries studied. Suggested revision: Canada and the United States recorded the two lowest food expenditure shares, at 15% and 14%, respectively. Why it matters: This version removes awkward parenthetical interruption and states the ranking precisely.
- 8. Support omitted categories Suggested revision: Add a brief body comparison with figures for health care and clothing so that all five categories receive quantitative coverage. Why it matters: These categories appear only in the final overview, leaving two parts of the chart without supporting data.
Suggested Rewrites
- allocated different shares of total spending to categories such as food, housing, and transportation allocated shares of their total expenditure among food, housing, transportation, health care, and clothing
- We can see that Delete
- housing expenditure share, 26% of total expenditures housing expenditure share, at 26% of total expenditure
- had the next-highest transportation shares recorded lower transportation shares
- However, in Japan, consumers Turning to food, consumers in Japan
- Americans had the lowest clothing share the United States and Japan had the joint-lowest clothing shares
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response accurately selects the principal spending patterns and supports them with well-chosen figures, while its clear category-based organisation makes comparisons easy to follow. Its main limitation is that the two smallest categories receive only brief treatment in the overview. Adding one concise comparative detail about health care and clothing would make the coverage more fully balanced without sacrificing clarity.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview and accurately compares the main figures and highest or lowest shares across the four countries.
Add a concise numerical comparison for health care and clothing to balance the otherwise thorough coverage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through housing, transportation, food, and an effective overview, with clear paragraphing and cohesive links.
Use a more precise transition than “However” when moving from transportation to food, since the relationship is not strongly contrastive.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise, with effective phrases such as “allocated different shares,” “expenditure component,” and “countries studied.”
Vary repeated uses of “share” and “expenditure” where a natural alternative would preserve precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and minor punctuation issues do not impede communication.
Check comma placement around inserted percentage phrases, particularly in the sentence comparing Canada and the United States on food.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.