The diagram below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009.
Sample Response
The yielded bar charts demonstrate the number of House every year which built in two different developed areas, Derby and Nottingham, from 2000 to 2009.
Overall, we can clearly see increased inbuilt house year after year. Moreover, more House built in Derby city than in Nottingham.
For Nottingham, 50 new houses were built in 2000, which rose 10 houses after one single year. After houses number decline dramatically and in 2000 had 20, in 2000 had the same number as 3 years ago had and continued to grow till 2000 that year 75 houses built and plunge it in 2006 were the lowest built number on account of below 10 and the same number as in 2008. However, between both years it touched to 180, and in 2009 it has on zenith point 250 built home.
For Derby, had 40 accommodation built-in 2000 which increased slowly and in 2003 number was more than double roughly 110 which remained same for five continue year. In 2008 it was 280 home and reached to the peak point at 350 house in 2009.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove wrong modifier Original: The yielded Suggested revision: The Why it matters: “Yielded” does not describe a chart in this context.
- 2. Use singular noun Original: charts Suggested revision: chart Why it matters: The visual contains one bar chart, so the noun should be singular.
- 3. Fix noun form Original: House Suggested revision: houses Why it matters: A count requires the plural common noun “houses.”
- 4. Repair passive structure Original: every year which built Suggested revision: built each year Why it matters: This word order forms a grammatical reduced passive phrase.
- 5. Name the places accurately Original: different developed areas Suggested revision: different cities Why it matters: Derby and Nottingham are presented as cities, while “developed areas” is unsupported and imprecise.
- 6. Use noun form Original: see increased Suggested revision: see an increase Why it matters: The verb “see” needs the noun phrase “an increase” here.
- 7. Use housebuilding Original: inbuilt house Suggested revision: housebuilding Why it matters: “Inbuilt house” does not mean the construction of houses.
- 8. Avoid false continuity Original: year after year Suggested revision: over the period Why it matters: Both city series fluctuate, so the chart does not show an increase every year.
- 9. Complete the passive Original: more House built Suggested revision: more houses were built Why it matters: The clause needs a plural noun and the auxiliary “were.”
- 10. Clarify the increase Original: which rose 10 houses Suggested revision: and this figure rose by 10 Why it matters: A numerical increase takes “by,” and “this figure” supplies a clear subject.
- 11. Use the exact year Original: after one single year Suggested revision: in 2001 Why it matters: Naming the year makes the sequence clearer and more concise.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: both Suggested revision: those Why it matters: “Those years” clearly refers back to the two low points already mentioned.
Suggested Rewrites
- The yielded The
- charts chart
- House houses
- every year which built built each year
- different developed areas different cities
- see increased see an increase
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response's strongest feature is its attempt to cover both cities separately and include several important figures, especially the late peaks. However, the overview misrepresents the fluctuating pattern, several years are incorrectly labelled, and pervasive grammatical and lexical errors make parts of the Nottingham description difficult to follow. Prioritise an accurate two-trend overview and use short, controlled sentences that pair each year with the correct value.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Several key values and the eventual peaks are reported, but the overview wrongly suggests continuous annual growth and repeated year errors reduce accuracy.
State that Derby plateaued before rising sharply while Nottingham fluctuated markedly, then check every year-value pairing against the chart.
Coherence and Cohesion
Separate paragraphs for the two cities provide a basic structure, but the long Nottingham sentence has weak progression and confusing reference.
Present the data in short chronological groups with one clear comparison or change in each sentence.
Lexical Resource
There is some relevant trend vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate choices and collocations such as inbuilt house and zenith point cause strain.
Use a smaller set of reliable chart terms, including rose, fell, remained stable, peaked, and number of houses.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in verb forms, articles, plurals, clause structure, and punctuation sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to recover.
Build complete subject-verb sentences and check tense and plural agreement before attempting longer complex structures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.