The illustration shows information about how an igloo is built from snow.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the process that is used to build an igloo from snow.
There are five main stages in this process, starting with finding an area covered by hard-packed snow and culminating in covering the entrance hole with snow blocks.
As can be seen from the process, after a surface of hard-packed snow is found, a snow saw is used to cut large blocks to the appropriate size to build the base. The edges of the blocks are then smoothed with the saw and are placed in a circle, and a hole is dug under the wall to make an entrance. Next, a slightly over-sized block is precisely shaped and placed on the top of the igloo.
Out of the remaining steps, snow is shoveled onto the outside of the igloo and is packed into all crevices while the internal surface of the igloo is smoothed by hand. Any excess snow is also removed from the inside of the igloo. And finally, a hole is dug in the shape of the entrance, and is then covered with snow blocks to complete the igloo.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural noun Original: a surface of hard-packed snow Suggested revision: an area of hard-packed snow Why it matters: An area is the natural term for a location covered with this type of snow.
- 2. Describe dimensions clearly Original: large blocks to the appropriate size Suggested revision: snow blocks to the specified dimensions Why it matters: This wording refers more precisely to the block measurements shown in the illustration.
- 3. Match the visual Original: precisely shaped and placed on the top of the igloo Suggested revision: positioned over the final opening at the top of the igloo Why it matters: The visual states that this block is slightly too large for the last opening rather than showing it being precisely shaped.
- 4. Clarify progression Original: Out of the remaining steps Suggested revision: In the next stage Why it matters: This transition presents the process sequence more directly.
- 5. Correct the location Original: from the inside of the igloo Suggested revision: from the igloo's surface Why it matters: The illustration shows excess snow being shaved from the igloo rather than removed from its interior.
- 6. Tighten final link Original: And finally, Suggested revision: Finally, Why it matters: Finally provides a concise formal transition to the last stage.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: The edges of the blocks are then smoothed with the saw and are placed in a circle, and a hole is dug under the wall to make an entrance. Suggested revision: The edges of the blocks are then smoothed with the saw, after which the blocks are placed in a circle and a hole is dug under the wall to create an entrance. Why it matters: The original coordination incorrectly makes the edges, rather than the blocks, the object that is placed in a circle.
- 8. Strengthen the overview Suggested revision: Summarise the central progression from cutting and arranging snow blocks into a domed structure to sealing and finishing its surfaces and entrance. Why it matters: The overview identifies the start and finish but does not capture the main construction and finishing phases.
- 9. Add key block details Suggested revision: Include the illustrated block dimensions and note that larger blocks are used at the base. Why it matters: These are specific, visually prominent features of the first construction stage.
- 10. Follow labelled stages Suggested revision: Reorder the details to match the labels: present the oversized top block as Step 2, followed by edge smoothing, circular upward placement, and entrance excavation in Step 3. Why it matters: The paragraph reverses the order explicitly numbered in the illustration.
Suggested Rewrites
- a surface of hard-packed snow an area of hard-packed snow
- large blocks to the appropriate size snow blocks to the specified dimensions
- precisely shaped and placed on the top of the igloo positioned over the final opening at the top of the igloo
- Out of the remaining steps In the next stage
- from the inside of the igloo from the igloo's surface
- And finally, Finally,
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear chronological coverage of almost the entire construction process, supported by an effective overview and generally precise process language. Its main limitation is that a few visual details—especially the block dimensions and explicit upward construction—are omitted, while occasional awkward reference and phrasing slightly weaken clarity. Prioritise fuller selection of diagram-specific details and tighten sentence references so each action clearly applies to the correct object.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and accurately covers nearly all stages, although the block dimensions and explicit upward construction are omitted.
Include a few more distinctive visual details, such as the block measurements and the upward circular arrangement, to make the account fully comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The stage-by-stage sequence is logical and the paragraphing is effective, despite the awkward transition into the final stages.
Use direct chronological transitions between stages so the progression remains consistently natural and precise.
Lexical Resource
A wide range of precise process vocabulary, including “hard-packed,” “crevices,” and “excess,” is used accurately with only occasional awkward phrasing.
Replace less natural expressions such as “Out of the remaining steps” with concise, idiomatic process language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex passive structures is handled accurately, with only a minor reference problem where “the edges” appear to be placed in a circle.
Check coordination and pronoun reference carefully so every passive action has an unmistakably correct subject.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The illustration shows information about how an igloo is built from snow.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.