The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Sample Response
The bar chart details the proportion of people immigrating to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002. Overall, whilst immigrant proportionsrates from New Zealand and Italy decreased, those of the UK, Vietnam, and India rose between 1962 and 1982in the first half of the period, but later experienced declines by 2002drops in the second half, with Vietnam undergoing the most significant fluctuation. In 1962, 40% of the immigrants to Australia were Italian, ranking first among the five nations surveyed. The corresponding shares for the other countries were much lowerThe rates of the remaining countries were much lower, with about 9% each for the UK and Vietnam10% each for the UK and Vietnam, around 8% for New Zealand, and below 3% for India. The patternrankings, however, changed significantly over the next 20 years when Vietnam became the largest source countrythe Vietnamese became the dominant group of immigrants, experiencing an increase to roughly two and a half times its initial sharea nearly threefold leap to 25%, whilst Italy's shareItalian rates halved to 20%. Over the same periodIn the meantime, the figures for the UK and India also rose, reachingwere higher, adding up to 17% and 15% respectively. New Zealand’s rate was the only one to show a downward trend, falling moderately to 5%. In 2002, it can be seen that the five national shares were more evenly distributedimmigrant demographics were more evenly dispersed. The rates of four of the five countriesfour over five countries (the UK, India, Vietnam, and Italy) each stood at between 12% and 15%accounted for 12-15%, as opposed to a much lower figure of about 4%a negligible 5% for New Zealand.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response selects the chart’s major patterns effectively and supports them with generally accurate figures, especially the changing leaders and the convergence seen in 2002. Its impact is reduced by presenting everything in one paragraph and by several imprecise quantitative expressions; the priority is to separate the overview from the detailed comparisons and use exact language for individual percentages and ranges.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and supporting details accurately capture the main rises, falls, changing rankings, and the more even distribution in 2002.
State the final-year values as individual figures or as a range in which each country fell, avoiding language that suggests a combined total.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological progression and comparisons are easy to follow, but the single-paragraph presentation does not clearly separate overview and detail.
Use distinct paragraphs for the overview, the earlier years, and the final-year comparison to strengthen information hierarchy.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of trend and comparison vocabulary, though collocations such as immigrant rates, adding up to, and four over five are imprecise.
Use precise forms such as proportions of immigrants, rose to, and four of the five countries when reporting the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex clauses and comparative structures are handled with strong control, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Review preposition choice and noun-phrase construction in quantitative sentences to make them consistently natural.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.