The graph below shows the fishing industry in a European country according to four indicators.
Sample Response
The given table illustrates the data of big-scale industrial ships and small-scale fishing boats involved in the European fishing industry. It is fascinating to see that the number of employees in small-scale fishing boats is far higher than in big-scale industrial ships but has a lesser catch than that of the big-scale industrial ship.
The total number of employees in a big-scale ship is 500,000, which is very less as compared to 120,000,000 that of small that of the small scale fishing boat. The annual catch from the big ship is nearly 29 million tonnes, while the small-scale boat has 24 million tonnes. The catch for the industrial process is a marker near 22 million tonnes, whereas the small fishing boat has no catch.
The annual pay for each employee on a big scale ship is about 25000-350,000 £ as compared to small scale ship which is at 200-300£. Annual consumption for each big vessel is 65000 gallons, whereas that for each small vessel is 8500 gallons.
It can be seen that small ships require more manpower to catch a small amount of fish but overall have a lesser financial cost and fuel requirement as compared to the bigger ones.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise phrasing Original: data of big-scale Suggested revision: data on large-scale Why it matters: The table provides data on a subject, and large-scale is the standard compound adjective.
- 2. Name the category Original: big ship Suggested revision: large-scale industrial ships Why it matters: Use the chart's full category label and the plural form for aggregate figures.
- 3. Use plural agreement Original: small-scale boat has Suggested revision: small-scale boats have Why it matters: The aggregate category requires a plural noun and verb.
- 4. Clarify catch type Original: catch for the industrial process Suggested revision: catch for industrial processing Why it matters: Industrial processing describes the purpose of this catch category accurately.
- 5. Use data language Original: is a marker near Suggested revision: is approximately Why it matters: Approximately is the appropriate term for reporting an estimated chart value.
- 6. Specify industrial catch Original: small fishing boat has no catch Suggested revision: small-scale boats record no industrial catch Why it matters: The visual shows no catch for industrial processing, not no catch of any kind.
- 7. Name the measure Original: Annual consumption Suggested revision: Annual fuel or oil consumption Why it matters: The visual measures fuel or oil consumption rather than unspecified consumption.
- 8. Match category label Original: each big vessel Suggested revision: each large-scale industrial vessel Why it matters: This wording identifies the relevant vessel category precisely.
- 9. Format the figure Original: 65000 Suggested revision: 65,000 Why it matters: A thousands separator makes this five-digit value clear.
- 10. Match category label Original: each small vessel Suggested revision: each small-scale vessel Why it matters: Small-scale is the precise compound modifier used for this category.
- 11. Format the figure Original: 8500 Suggested revision: 8,500 Why it matters: A thousands separator makes the reported value easier to read.
- 12. Report employment accurately Original: small ships require more manpower Suggested revision: small-scale fishing employs more people Why it matters: The table reports total employees across the sector, not a staffing requirement for each ship.
Suggested Rewrites
- data of big-scale data on large-scale
- big ship large-scale industrial ships
- small-scale boat has small-scale boats have
- catch for the industrial process catch for industrial processing
- is a marker near is approximately
- small fishing boat has no catch small-scale boats record no industrial catch
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its broad coverage of all four indicators, supported by several accurate figures and a clear comparison between the two sectors. Its main limitation is imprecise reporting, especially the small-boat pay figure and some unclear descriptions of what the figures represent. Prioritise checking every value and unit against the table, then express each comparison in precise, grammatically controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and reports nearly all four indicators accurately, but understates small-boat pay as £200–300 rather than £200–3,000.
Check each number and unit against the table and describe pay and fuel explicitly as per employee and per vessel.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical overview-and-details structure, although awkward referencing and a few loosely connected clauses disrupt the flow.
Group the catch figures together and the cost figures together, using clear comparative sentence patterns without repetition.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for describing quantities and comparisons, but phrases such as ‘very less’ and ‘a marker near’ are inaccurate or unnatural.
Use precise chart language such as ‘far fewer,’ ‘approximately,’ ‘per capita,’ and ‘fuel consumption.’
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but recurring agreement, article, comparison, and clause-structure errors reduce control.
Practise accurate comparative clauses and proofread every sentence for agreement, missing articles, and duplicated wording.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the fishing industry in a European country according to four indicators.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.