The diagram below shows how coffee is produced and prepared for sale in supermarkets and shops.
Sample Response
The process chart illustrates the coffee production and how the powder is prepared for sales in supermarkets and shops.
Overall, the process includes eleven steps beginning with the collection of coffee beans by farmers and culminating in packing coffee powder into jars and finally being sent to the market for sale.
To begin with, the coffee beans are collected by the farmers and are allowed to dry under the sun for several days. The beans are then kept in a vacuum to make them into a roasted form, and it is allowed to cool rapidly. Following the cooling process, the beans are ground in a machine. The resulting powder is mixed with hot water, and the mixture thus obtained is strained by a strainer.
In the final stages of the coffee production process, the mixture is kept in a freezer. The frozen mixture undergoes a grinding process further to form a liquid. Moreover, it is placed in a vacuum to remove the remaining water in the powder. The coffee powder thus obtained is packed into jars and is made available to sell in the market got the customers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: illustrates the coffee production Suggested revision: illustrates coffee production Why it matters: The general process noun phrase does not take “the” here.
- 2. Use fixed phrase Original: sales Suggested revision: sale Why it matters: “For sale” is the standard phrase for something made ready to be sold.
- 3. Clarify the final stage Original: culminating in packing coffee powder into jars Suggested revision: culminating in the coffee powder being packed into jars Why it matters: The passive structure makes coffee powder, rather than the process, the object being packed.
- 4. Remove invented stage Original: and finally being sent to the market for sale Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The diagram ends with packing the coffee into jars and does not show transportation to a market.
- 5. Avoid repetition Original: strained by a strainer Suggested revision: strained Why it matters: The verb already expresses the use of a straining device.
- 6. Describe the shown action Original: is kept in a freezer Suggested revision: is frozen Why it matters: The diagram labels the stage as freezing the mixture without specifying a freezer.
- 7. Use sequence linker Original: Moreover Suggested revision: Next Why it matters: A sequence marker expresses the chronological relationship between process stages more clearly.
- 8. Make structure parallel Original: and how the powder Suggested revision: and shows how the powder Why it matters: Adding “shows” creates a clear parallel structure after “illustrates coffee production.”
- 9. Use the shown action Original: the coffee beans are collected by the farmers Suggested revision: the coffee beans are picked by farmers Why it matters: The diagram specifically shows and labels the first stage as picking the beans.
- 10. Remove unsupported duration Original: for several days Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The visual shows sun-drying but gives no duration for this stage.
- 11. Use concise wording Original: Following the cooling process Suggested revision: After cooling Why it matters: The shorter phrase expresses the same sequence more directly.
- 12. Name the material clearly Original: The resulting powder Suggested revision: The ground coffee Why it matters: This wording identifies the output of the preceding grinding stage more precisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- illustrates the coffee production illustrates coffee production
- sales sale
- culminating in packing coffee powder into jars culminating in the coffee powder being packed into jars
- and finally being sent to the market for sale Delete
- strained by a strainer strained
- is kept in a freezer is frozen
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its complete, chronological coverage of the production sequence and its clear overview from bean picking to packaging. The main limitation is factual precision: roasting is incorrectly described as occurring in a vacuum, and grinding the frozen liquid is misrepresented as forming a liquid. Prioritise checking the purpose and result of each illustrated stage while retaining the effective step-by-step organisation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All major stages are included with a clear beginning and end, but the roasting and second grinding stages are described inaccurately.
Match each process verb and resulting material precisely to the diagram, especially roast the beans and grind the frozen liquid.
Coherence and Cohesion
The stages are arranged in a clear chronological sequence with effective paragraphing and generally smooth progression.
Replace additive linking such as Moreover with sequence-focused transitions where the process simply moves to the next stage.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of process vocabulary, though several awkward or imprecise collocations reduce accuracy.
Refine phrases such as prepared for sale, roasted, and ground into granules, and proofread the final sentence for word-choice errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of passive and complex structures is used successfully, but pronoun reference and wording errors recur in several sentences.
Keep passive subjects consistent and revise malformed endings, particularly the final clause about sale to customers.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows how coffee is produced and prepared for sale in supermarkets and shops.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.